COZ PAYPAL SUX!

[Intro – Spoken, Rex over a rubbery bass groove] Ladies and gentlemen... I tried to send a little love across the sea. The bank said, "Certainly." The fees said, "Not for free!" Hit it! [Verse 1 – Rex, rhythmic and playful] I had a pocket full of dollars, Had a sweetheart overseas, Wanted pounds across the water, Just to put her mind at ease. Punched the numbers, checked the figures, Thought the whole thing was deluxe, Then I saw what they were charging, And I shouted, "What the funk?!" [Pre-Chorus – Female backing singers, call and response] [Rex] Where'd my money go? [Girls] They took a little slice! [Rex] Where'd my dollars go? [Girls] They charged you for the ride! [Rex] Did the love get through? [Girls] Yeah, but look what it cost! [All] Somebody count the change we lost! [Chorus – Full band, explosive brass stabs] Coz PayPal sux! (Hey!) Got my dollars in a headlock! Coz PayPal sux! (Woo!) Made my wallet do the moonwalk! I sent a little lovin', They took a little cut, Now I'm dancing with my bank account, Coz PayPal sux! [Post-Chorus – Chant, claps and horn punches] Sux! Sux! Everybody say! Take those fees and dance away! Sux! Sux! Hands up high! My money's got a ticket and it's learning how to fly! [Verse 2 – Rex, playful swagger] Now I found myself a new route, Got a bank across the pond, Gonna move those pounds directly, Keep the fees from tagging on. Got my phone and got my numbers, Got my dancing shoes and luck, If the exchange rate starts behaving, We can save a couple bucks! [Pre-Chorus 2 – Call and response] [Rex] Who's got the money? [Girls] You do, honey! [Rex] Who's got the plan? [Girls] The banking man! [Rex] Who's got the groove? [Girls] The whole darn crew! [All] Now watch those dollars move! [Chorus – Full ensemble] Coz PayPal sux! (Hey!) Got my dollars in a headlock! Coz PayPal sux! (Woo!) Made my wallet do the moonwalk! I sent a little lovin', They took a little cut, Now I'm dancing with my bank account, Coz PayPal sux! [Instrumental Break – 16 bars] [Slap bass solo, syncopated clavinet, wah guitar] [Four-bar horn riff answered by brass and handclaps] [Short drum fill into breakdown] [Breakdown – Bass and handclaps only] [Rex, spoken] Now hold up! I ain't mad at technology. I ain't mad at convenience. But when my dollars cross the ocean... I don't need 'em flying first class! [Girls] Tell 'em, Rex! [Rex] I want pounds, not surprises! [Girls] Tell 'em again! [Rex] And keep your hands off my boogie money! [Final Chorus – Double chorus, full horns, female harmonies] Coz PayPal sux! (Hey!) Got my dollars in a headlock! Coz PayPal sux! (Woo!) Made my wallet do the moonwalk! I sent a little lovin', They took a little cut, Now I'm dancing with my bank account, Coz PayPal sux! Coz PayPal sux! (Hey!) No more paying for the privilege! Coz PayPal sux! (Woo!) I'm gonna dance across the village! I got my girl, I got my groove, And I know where my money goes, One more time, everybody, Let the whole world know! [Outro – Stop-time horn hits] [Rex] The money! [Girls] Is moving! [Rex] The groove! [Girls] Is proving! [All] That the best things in life... [Rex, spoken] Ain't supposed to cost a transfer fee! [Final brass hit – tight band stop] [All] COZ PAYPAL SUX!