Title: "The Happy Accident" [Intro - Fast, bouncy mandolin starts. The sound of Korg tripping over a rock.] [Spoken] "Stupid door! Why door glow? Korg tired of standing! Korg... (Hmmmm) ... Korg smash? No, Korg 'accidentally' lean." [Verse 1] The Wizard's chanting phrases in a tongue of ancient lore, He’s looking for the 'Keystone' in the middle of the floor. It’s a simple prime-based sequence, any child could see the trick, But he’s citing 'Aether Theory' while the clock begins to tick. I want to say, "The third rune must be rotated ten degrees," But I have to keep appearances and act like I’ve got fleas. [Chorus] Oh, I’m just a clumsy oaf, a giant mountain made of meat! (Oops!) I tripped and pushed the lever with my massive, heavy feet! I didn't mean to solve the code or fix the magic light, I was just... uh... scratching where my leather pants are tight! Don't mind me, I'm just a brute, a simple-minded soul, Who 'accidentally' saved us while I'm playing out my role! [Verse 2] The Paladin is praying to his God of Light and Law, While pointing out a 'weakness' that I know he never saw. The door requires a counter-weight of forty-seven pounds, Which I could calculate by ear just from the clicking sounds. I pretend to lose my balance, letting out a roar of fear, And I drop my heavy sack of loot... exactly over here. [Bridge] (The music speeds up, the fiddle gets frantic) The gears begin to turn! The ancient locks begin to slide! The Wizard shouts, "I did it!" with a sense of scholarly pride. I’m biting on my tongue so hard it’s starting to turn blue, If I correct his grammar now, the secret’s out, it’s true! He thinks it was a 'Ley-Line Burst' that opened up the way, And I just grunt, "DOOR OPEN NOW? WE GO AND KILL TODAY?" [Verse 3] I 'stumble' past the threshold with a vacant, glassy stare, Pretending that I didn't see the poison-needle snare. I 'clumsily' kick a stone that jams the pressure plate in place, While maintaining a look of pure confusion on my face. The Bard says, "Korg, you're lucky!" as she strums a silly tune, I’d tell her it’s 'Probability,' but I’d rather howl at the moon. [Chorus] Oh, I’m just a clumsy oaf, a giant mountain made of meat! (Oops!) I tripped and pushed the lever with my massive, heavy feet! I didn't mean to solve the code or fix the magic light, I was just... uh... scratching where my leather pants are tight! Don't mind me, I'm just a brute, a simple-minded soul, Who 'accidentally' saved us while I'm playing out my role! [Outro] (Music slows down to a final, heavy bass thump) (Spoken): "Yes, Wizard. You very smart. Big magic words make door go 'click.' Korg just... found a nice rock to sit on. It happened to be the pressure sensitive trigger for the bridge. Total coincidence. ...Ugh, I need a bath and some Kierkegaard." (Final frantic fiddle flourish)
