03-14 | Dissecting Disney’s Doppelgangers

cabaret, showtune, theatrical, comedic, spooky

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[Verse 1]
We cleared out all the forests and we paved right over the swamp! 
So the families and the toddlers could have a magical romp!
But beneath the Magic Kingdom is a subterranean floor! 
It's a labyrinth of tunnels called the Utilidor! 
You are walking on the ceiling, it's a structural deceit! 
Where the cast members are hiding just below the concrete!

[Chorus]
(Big, brassy, theatrical group vocals)
Oh, the ghosts of the park are a corporate design! 
And you're paying top dollar just to stand in the line! 
From the cosmic spirits haunting Epcot's Spaceship Earth, 
To the air conditioning blasting for all that it's worth! 
It's the Happiest Place, but the phantoms are fake, 
Just an intellectual property that Disney can make!

[Verse 2]
(Sneaky, tip-toeing upright bass and snapping fingers)
Now the Haunted Mansion opened and invited all the happy ghosts! 
But the photo of the boy was just a hoax for internet posts! 
And the Pirates of the Caribbean opened up in seventy-three, Where the floating burning candle is a trick for you to see! 
They added pirate Redd and said she's part of the dead! 
While the temperature is dropping just like the rumors said!

[Bridge]
(Tempo slows down, dramatic strings build up)
In nineteen-ninety-four the Tower of Terror took a drop! 
With the fiction of Dolly who came to a stop! 
And Cinderella's Castle has a worker's daughter inside! 
Just to add a little panic to your magical ride!

[Chorus]
(Maximum energy, full brass section, cymbals crashing)
Oh, the ghosts of the park are a corporate design! 
And you're paying top dollar just to stand in the line! 
From the cosmic spirits haunting Epcot's Spaceship Earth, 
To the air conditioning blasting for all that it's worth! 
It's the Happiest Place, but the phantoms are fake, 
Just an intellectual property that Disney can make!

[Outro]
(Music strips back to just a creeping piano)
But the ultimate phantom is Walt Disney's ghost, 
Above the Main Street firehouse, he's the ultimate host! 
You can smell his pipe tobacco and you hear his voice joke, 
Breaking his own rules with his spectral smoke! 
(A massive, cartoonish 'KA-CHING!' cash register noise) 
[End]

2422/7500

[Intro] (Bouncy, sinister cabaret piano starts playing) (Sound of a magical chime distorting into a creepy drone) Welcome to the park that opened in nineteen-seventy-one! Twenty-five thousand acres baking in the Florida sun! [Verse 1] We cleared out all the forests and we paved right over the swamp! So the families and the toddlers could have a magical romp! But beneath the Magic Kingdom is a subterranean floor! It's a labyrinth of tunnels called the Utilidor! You are walking on the ceiling, it's a structural deceit! Where the cast members are hiding just below the concrete! [Chorus] (Big, brassy, theatrical group vocals) Oh, the ghosts of the park are a corporate design! And you're paying top dollar just to stand in the line! From the cosmic spirits haunting Epcot's Spaceship Earth, To the air conditioning blasting for all that it's worth! It's the Happiest Place, but the phantoms are fake, Just an intellectual property that Disney can make! [Verse 2] (Sneaky, tip-toeing upright bass and snapping fingers) Now the Haunted Mansion opened and invited all the happy ghosts! But the photo of the boy was just a hoax for internet posts! And the Pirates of the Caribbean opened up in seventy-three, Where the floating burning candle is a trick for you to see! They added pirate Redd and said she's part of the dead! While the temperature is dropping just like the rumors said! [Bridge] (Tempo slows down, dramatic strings build up) In nineteen-ninety-four the Tower of Terror took a drop! With the fiction of Dolly who came to a stop! And Cinderella's Castle has a worker's daughter inside! Just to add a little panic to your magical ride! [Chorus] (Maximum energy, full brass section, cymbals crashing) Oh, the ghosts of the park are a corporate design! And you're paying top dollar just to stand in the line! From the cosmic spirits haunting Epcot's Spaceship Earth, To the air conditioning blasting for all that it's worth! It's the Happiest Place, but the phantoms are fake, Just an intellectual property that Disney can make! [Outro] (Music strips back to just a creeping piano) But the ultimate phantom is Walt Disney's ghost, Above the Main Street firehouse, he's the ultimate host! You can smell his pipe tobacco and you hear his voice joke, Breaking his own rules with his spectral smoke! (A massive, cartoonish 'KA-CHING!' cash register noise) [End]

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