What is there?

So distorted, angry, proud, wondering what is there? Femme fatal, dark reasons, friends, goals, euphoric ambience in aesthetics. A smoky haze, still set in thinkin like a beatnik, The space race, so appealing Wonders Dealing Mysteries Or lies? Freedom pealin’ Who is out there, Who’s behind us, it Can we make it- past the mag sphere? I’m all in as far as backing it. But what awaits us? If we can’t even trust What’s right here. Dark. Darkness. Angry Blind rage Will fill the tidings Basket Full of muffins Sits nicer. Linching Ends in bloodshed We’re supposed to be here for one another. Cruel games That’s are not games Fill past far full What would kill another And will smaller souls Games That are not played That are not winnable Or made to loose Not asking for a thing just to taunt And run up the lifespark Take the energy particles The moments that fill up a life or two And devour them in murderous astute Shooting practice It hurts. A smoky haze, still set in thinkin like a beatnik, Dark dark dark Mysteries? Full lies? Feel the curiosity a burnin, a drive Pining you, entwining you, in truth As you climb You climb Climb Climb Hights better not scare you If you’re gonna verge to the top Don’t wanna know Don’t wanna even know But I’ve gone And we have grown Vines and weeds and tulips and berries Of all the factoids and theories Conspiracies Digging and thorns growing Cutting into me As I see I see Ah I saw I understand Wish I didn’t, though, Sometimes. Wish I could unsee. Un undo. Re undo. Undo. Me. Talk me back. To innocence. To free. Would they go too? Leave me? Leave me be? I don’t wanna. Don’t wanna be. Anything north or south of Any incomplete Non discreet. They compete. Fighting. A battleground. All in me. Like I have a choice. This is just. Just me. Couldn’t prove any more Innocence Or will of non Thing Easy to create a targeted To create a reason to be mean. When that’s how the funding Decides you’ll all be. Guess I got the short straw Dart fell, 1 in a million. On me. Yikes No way to under Over No way through Nope, not for me Sheesh. Mind the pain Save the name Tell me who 2 Who 2 b Hide the sorrows Try tomorrows Take your medicine Be a golden kid Why the horror When u borrow Take ur Take ur more Take some Take some more Take it Take it In the shadows where our dreams collide, Fragments of another life slip, shift & slide. Eyes wide open, what do you see? Hide the sorrows Try tomorrows Do you see? Cringe full waisted Wasted Wasted Wasted moments Wasted days Wasted people Wasted late Fates of sorry Full of pain Tryin to fight it Leads 2 names Leads 2 claims Leads 2 vain Fighting, trying, growing Pains Be the u u’ve always been Fighting 4 the rights of sins Plain 2 see who’s right Who’se lame Wondering which pills 2 add 2 the daily dosage 2 end this cash grab These 1s should do it Otherwise I have more I said stop shooting me Bang hope