Soul... Dear younger me, I'm sorry that I waited this long to speak, I know you carried things at night that you were way too young to keep, You thought the pain would make you hard, so you hid it underneath, Started laughing cause you didn't wanna seem weak I forgive you for the anger, for the walls you built so high, For the times you said you're good when you damn near couldn't survive, For believing every person who walked out was proof you're hard to love, For confusing being independent with refusing any trust. I forgive the dumb decisions, all the words you wish you'd said, All the nights you stayed awake replaying conversations in your head, You were looking for a reason every time somebody left, Thinking if you changed enough, they'd finally choose you next. But you couldn't know what I know, you were learning as you went, You were trying to make a home inside a heart that wasn't meant To hold every single problem that the world put on your back, And I'm proud you kept on walking when you wanted to turn back. And present me, I forgive you for the things you still regret, For the promises you made yourself and haven't finished yet, For the songs you almost deleted, for the dreams you call a joke, For the days you swear you're finished just to wake up and still cope. I forgive you for the distance, for the people you pushed away, For pretending you don't miss them just because they didn't stay, For comparing your beginning to somebody else's peak, For expecting every answer when you're barely on your feet. You don't have to call it healing just because you're getting through, Some days making it to bedtime is the strongest thing you do, You can hate the way you're living without hating who you are, You can know you're fucking up without thinking you're fucked up. But listen close, because future me, I'm putting this on you: Don't become the man who had the chance and still refused to choose, Don't let bitterness become the only language that you speak, Don't become so scared of losing that you never let them keep A piece of you. Don't trade your real friends for applause from people you don't know, Don't let money make you colder, don't let pride control the road, Don't become the type to look back at the kid you used to be And act like all his broken pieces weren't the reason that you're free. If you make it, bring him with you. If you win, don't let him lose. If they finally love the person that you became, Remember they once laughed at the shoes That little kid wore walking through the rain, Trying to figure out why everybody else looked okay. And if you're successful, don't forget how small the room felt, Don't forget the nights you wrote because you had nobody else, Don't forget the ones who listened before anybody knew your name, Don't rewrite the past just because the ending finally changed. I don't need you perfect. I need you honest. I need you able to look in that mirror without flinching when you see Every version of yourself standing behind your shoulders, Every mistake, every loss, every almost, Every person you couldn't save, Every person you couldn't become, Every promise you broke, Every promise you kept. Take all of it. That's the man I want you to be. Not somebody without trauma— somebody who stopped being ashamed of where they came from. And if you ever meet that little kid again, don't tell him everything gets better. Tell him it'll get different. Tell him he'll lose some people. Tell him he'll lose himself a couple times. Tell him he'll screw up. Tell him he'll have days where getting up feels like work. Then tell him this: None of that means the story is over. Because I'm still here. And if you're reading this from somewhere years ahead, I hope you finally understand why I wrote it— I wasn't asking you to become somebody else. I was asking you not to abandon us just because we finally became somebody worth becoming.
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