[Intro – spoken, spooky organ] Gather ’round, you ghouls and hosts, I’ve got a tale about two ghosts. Well... technically three. But one of ’em disappeared. [Verse 1] There once was a ghost named Lou Who fell for a ghost named Rue They’d float through the cemetery A haunting rendezvous They rattled chains beneath the moon And haunted every room He thought their love would never die— Which ghosts tend to assume. [Pre-Chorus] Then one dark night she vanished Without a single word For someone who was already dead It really, really hurt [Chorus] He got ghosted by a ghost! Oh, the irony! She disappeared into thin air And left him misery He got ghosted by a ghost! Now he’s crying, “Boo-hoo-hoo!” It’s bad enough to lose your girl But worse when she goes BOO! [Verse 2] He haunted all their old hangouts But Rue was never there He checked the crypt, he checked the morgue She’d vanished in thin air He sent a little séance Said, “Rue, please give a sign!” The Ouija board spelled N-O He said, “At least she replied.” [Pre-Chorus] His friends said, “Lou, forget her! That romance is deceased!” He said, “That doesn’t narrow it down— We’re ALL deceased!” [Chorus] He got ghosted by a ghost! She left without a trace Now every time someone says “Boo” A tear rolls down his face He got ghosted by a ghost! What a paranormal blow She said they’d haunt forever Then she vanished—just like that! [Spoken] “Talk about a dead-end relationship.” [Bridge – half-time / melodramatic] Nobody saw him anymore... [Backing ghosts - multiple voices] NO - BODY! (get it?) His social life was dead... [Backing ghosts - multiple voices] Dead! Dead! Dead! His heart was six feet under With everything she said She saw right through him— [Lou, spoken] “Which is normally a compliment.” His spirit sank so low He spent his nights just moaning With nowhere else to ghost [Backing ghosts - multiple voices] That's "GO", Lou! [Lou] “I’m TRYING!” Till one October evening Someone floated through the door... [Music kicks back in] [Verse 3] Her name was little Lucy With a crooked sheet and grin She said, “You look a little pale.” Lou said, “Lady... look again.” She laughed until she rattled And Lou began to smile She said, “Your ex sounds ghastly.” He said, “Yeah... that was her style.” They talked about their afterlives And floated for a while For the first time since Rue vanished Lou was dying for a smile [Spoken] “Figuratively.” [Pre-Chorus] She said, “Someone broke your heart?” He said, “Yeah, I’ve had it rough.” She took his hand and whispered, “Come on... you’ve moped enough.” [Final Chorus] She lifted up his spirits! Got him floating off the ground She put the BOO back in his boogie And they haunted all the town Yeah, she lifted up his spirits! Now he’s happy as can be Turns out there’s plenty more apparitions In the cemetery! [Monster-party breakdown] Ghosts in the graveyard! BOO! BOO! BOO! Skeletons dancing! SHAKE THOSE BONES! Zombies in the moonlight! UHHHH! Lou found a new boo! AWE! [Final Chorus – faster/bigger] He got ghosted by a ghost! But he’s doing frightfully well Now he’s got another boo And you can probably tell She lifted up his spirits! Now the whole graveyard agrees— When one boo disappears on you There are plenty more boos in the cemetery! [Band hit / backing ghosts - multiple voices] BOOOOOOO! [Outro – spoken] So if somebody ghosts you this Halloween... Don’t let it haunt you. There are plenty of people in the— [Music stops] ...cemetery. [Ghost chorus - multiple voices - with spooky organ] BOOooOOooOOooOO!
