[Intro – Spoken, irritated] Okay, for the LAST fucking time. It's a fallout shelter. A FALLOUT SHELTER. Why is this so difficult?! [Verse 1 – Fast, playful] Three months ago at a Vault party I made one comment, nothing naughty Said there's an old bunker on my land Somehow that got completely out of hand I live in a trailer, the shelter's outside There's a door and some stairs, you go inside Somebody laughed, said, "What's it for?" I said, "NUCLEAR WAR! What do you THINK it's for?!" [Pre-Chorus – Building] One little sentence, passed around Now everybody's got the story upside down I said one thing, you heard another Sweet baby Jesus, what the fuck is your problem?! [Chorus – Huge, shouted hook] THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAID! GET THAT SHIT OUT OF YOUR HEAD! I SAID THE LAND CAME WITH A BUNKER! NOT A FUCKING SEX DUNGEON! THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAID! HOW'S THIS RUMOR STILL NOT DEAD?! There's a cot, a shower, and some boxes down there! WHY THE FUCK DOES EVERYBODY CARE?! [Post-Chorus – Chant] Not! What! I! Said! Not! What! I! Said! It's a fallout shelter! GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD! [Verse 2 – Rapid-fire sarcasm] "What's in your dungeon?" Boxes and dust "What's in the boxes?" I DON'T KNOW, WHAT'S THE RUSH? "Why's there a bed?" It's a military cot! "Why's there a shower?" BECAUSE SHOWERS GET HOT! "Do you have handcuffs?" No, I have a flashlight! "Do you throw parties?" NOT ON A TUESDAY NIGHT! "Can I come see it?" Sure, I guess, fine— "Is that an invitation?" JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! [Pre-Chorus] One little sentence, passed around Now everybody's got the story upside down I said one thing, you heard another How the hell did you people get so fucking stubborn?! [Chorus] THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAID! GET THAT SHIT OUT OF YOUR HEAD! I SAID THE LAND CAME WITH A BUNKER! NOT A FUCKING SEX DUNGEON! THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAID! HOW'S THIS RUMOR STILL NOT DEAD?! There's a cot, a shower, and some boxes down there! WHY THE FUCK DOES EVERYBODY CARE?! [Instrumental Break – 8 bars] [Fast punchy drums, distorted synth bass, bratty guitar stabs] [Bridge – Beat cuts, spoken dialogue] "So, Aph..." No. "About your dungeon—" NO. "I just wanted to know—" IT'S A FUCKING BOMB SHELTER! "...So you DO have a dungeon?" [Dead silence] I am going to lose my fucking mind. [Final Verse – Faster, increasingly furious] Three whole months and we're STILL on this shit I've explained it so much I'm getting sick of it I bought the land, the bunker was there I DIDN'T INSTALL A FUCKING TORTURE CHAIR! No velvet curtains, no chains on the wall Just some old military shit, that's all! If the bombs start dropping, you can stay outside 'CAUSE YOU'RE NOT GETTING IN MY FUCKING HIDE! [Final Chorus – Maximum energy] THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAID! GET THAT SHIT OUT OF YOUR HEAD! I SAID THE LAND CAME WITH A BUNKER! NOT A FUCKING SEX DUNGEON! THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAID! HOW'S THIS RUMOR STILL NOT DEAD?! There's a cot, a shower, and some boxes down there! WHY THE FUCK DOES EVERYBODY CARE?! [Outro – Spoken, exhausted] Three months. THREE FUCKING MONTHS. ...I'm selling the property. [Pause] "What are you asking for the dungeon?" FUCK OFF!
