[Verse 1] I woke up half asleep Shuffling Eyes at half-mast Phone in my hand Screen lit Didn’t know I’d see my past (looking back) Lift the lid Then I freeze ’Cause something’s staring back up at me Two cold eyes in porcelain Blinking from the deep [Chorus] There’s a snake in my toilet And I’m trying not to scream in joy Bare feet on cold tile Is this real or just a dream? I’m stuck in the doorway Too happy to even breathe There’s a snake in my toilet And it’s looking up at me yippee [Verse 2] All my sadness runs away Like water down the drain Call my roommate down the hall He thinks I’ve gone insane (come and see) He leans in Does a double-take Now we’re both pressed to the wall He says “Man This is your place” Like that helps at all [Chorus] There’s a snake in my toilet And I’m trying not to scream Bare feet on cold tile Is this real or just a dream? We’re stuck in the doorway Too scared to even breathe There’s a snake in my toilet And it’s looking up at me (hey!) [Bridge] Google says “stay calm” But my hands won’t stop their shake Plumber says “On my way” Like it’s just another day I’m making deals with every star “I’ll be good if you get it out” Whispering scared little prayers In my own damn bathroom now [Chorus] There’s a snake in my toilet And I’m trying not to scream Every flush feels haunted Every trip there in-between Now every time I’m half-asleep I still lift the lid and peek ’Cause a snake in my toilet Changed how I can ever pee
