Punchlines & Panic

/^(o.o)^\ /^(o.o)^\ /^(o.o)^\ /^(o.o)^\ /^(o.o)^\ I smile automatic, dramatic, acrobatic Brain doing parkour, panic in gymnastics Happy-sad, mad-glad, fine-ish, fantastic Tell myself “I’m okay” like it’s magic Therapy jokes in my group chat lore “LOL I’m healed” then I cry on the floor Sleep is a myth, peace is a rumor I cope with sarcasm, trauma and humor Checklist brain, all boxes unchecked Heart on airplane mode, still feels wrecked I spiral, I style it, I make it a bit Self-aware mess, yeah I laugh at my shit /^(o.o)^\ /^(o.o)^\ /^(o.o)^\ /^(o.o)^\ /^(o.o)^\ I’m not broken, I’m just bent Like “almost fine” but heaven-sent If irony paid rent I’d live large in my discontent /^(o.o)^\ /^(o.o)^\ /^(o.o)^\ /^(o.o)^\ /^(o.o)^\ Ha-ha, I’m fine, don’t worry about me Crying with mascara like modern art, see? If this is healing then pardon my doubt I’m mentally loud but emotionally out Ha-ha, I joke, I deflect, I pretend Turn every breakdown into content If If pain had a punchline I’d nail the delivery Laughing through symptoms, dark comedy misery /^(o.o)^\ /^(o.o)^\ /^(o.o)^\ /^(o.o)^\ /^(o.o)^\ Mirror talks back, says “girl, be for real” I say “not today”, pop another fake smile pill Overthink, overdo, overstimulated queen Head full of thoughts I didn’t order or need Mood swings sponsored by nothing at all From “I got this” to “don’t let me call” I ghost myself, then I wonder why I miss people who watched me quietly die But hey— I’m quirky, not hurting, totally stable Just duct-taped hope under the table If you ask how I am, I’ll give you a lie So fast you won’t notice the truth slip by /^(o.o)^\ /^(o.o)^\ /^(o.o)^\ /^(o.o)^\ /^(o.o)^\ If I stop joking it gets too real If I stop laughing I gotta feel So let me joke, let me grin It’s safer than letting the silence win… win /^(o.o)^\ /^(o.o)^\ /^(o.o)^\ /^(o.o)^\ /^(o.o)^\ Ha-ha, I’m fine, put it on the shelf I roast my pain before it roasts myself If darkness knocks I offer tea Then laugh like “wow, you again? crazy” Ha-ha, it’s cute, it’s tragic, it’s me High-functioning chaos in feminine energy If I sound funny just know the truth I’m healing crooked, not bulletproof /^(o.o)^\ /^(o.o)^\ /^(o.o)^\ /^(o.o)^\ /^(o.o)^\