(Intro — Country / Southern Gothic) (Acoustic guitar. Crickets. A lonely harmonica.) Well, bless your heart, And fuck your day, Everybody’s got something stupid to say. The preacher’s drunk, The pastor’s high, The politician’s selling you another damn lie. The racist’s mad, The sexist cries, The homophobe’s afraid of the guy in his tights. The rich man flexes, The broke man schemes, And everybody’s famous in their own damn dreams. (Country guitar slows down. Record crackle.) Well, I’ll be damned… (A distant voice whispers: “Turn it up.”) BASS IMPACT — BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAM! (Windows rattle. Distorted 808s swallow the guitar. A demonic laugh echoes.) Y’ALL READY TO BE OFFENDED?! (Verse 1 — Trap / Witch House) I’m an asshole with a microphone, Middle finger up, make the whole damn internet groan. Got a mouth full of gasoline, a brain full of spite, And enough bad opinions to start seventeen fights! (Ad-lib: “LET’S GO! LET’S GO!”) Racist in the comments with a cartoon profile, Talking like a gangster, couldn’t walk one mile. Big tough keyboard warrior, typing all caps, Gets scared when the delivery driver knocks at his flat! Sexist little clown says women belong in the kitchen, Can’t boil water without starting an intervention. Calls himself an alpha, thinks he’s God’s gift, Can’t even flirt without getting left on read! (Record scratch — SKRRRT!) Homophobe screaming that his manhood’s in danger, Gets a little nervous when a handsome man says, “Hey, stranger.” Boy, you’re so obsessed with who’s kissing who, You spend more time watching gay folks than they spend thinking of you! (Ad-lib: “THAT’S CRAZY!”) Everybody’s offended, everybody’s a victim, Everybody’s got a podcast nobody listens to. I’m roasting the whole damn zoo, no exceptions, If the shoe fits, congratulations, here’s your reflection! (Pre-Chorus — Witch House Build) (Low, distorted whispers pan across the stereo.) Everybody’s fake… Everybody’s mad… Everybody’s convinced That they’re the best we’ve ever had… (Heartbeat starts.) Left side, right side, Black tie, white lie, Big talk, small brain, EVERYBODY’S INSANE! (Riser builds. The drums stop.) OH, YOU THOUGHT THAT WAS THE DROP?! (One second of silence.) (Chorus — Massive Trap / Tazz Drop) FUCK YOUR EGO! FUCK YOUR PRIDE! Everybody’s got a clown on the inside! BLACK, WHITE, GAY, STRAIGHT! Everybody’s got some bullshit on their plate! (Distorted gang vocals.) BAD TAKES! BAD TASTE! BIG MOUTHS! NO BRAINS! WHO’S THE JOKE? LOOK IN THE MIRROR! TURN THAT BASS UP, MAKE THE DEVIL HEAR US! BOOM! BOOM! SHAKE THE FLOOR! Everybody’s got a skeleton behind the door! BOOM! BOOM! BREAK THE WALL! I’M AN EQUAL-OPPORTUNITY ASSHOLE! (Chopped vocal: “ASS-HOLE! ASS-HOLE!”) (Verse 2 — Industrial Trap / Phonk) (Cowbells rattle over distorted 808s.) The rich man’s crying ‘cause his yacht got wet, The influencer’s panicking over one bad set. The conspiracy guy sees lizards in the sky, While his tinfoil hat catches Wi-Fi! (Ad-lib: “BRO, WHAT?!”) The gym bro flexes but can’t reach his toes, The fake guru’s broke but he’s selling you goals. The wannabe gangster gets his feelings hurt, The internet tough guy needs a change of shirt! The fake-ass woke guy’s virtue-signaling online, Then treats the waiter like he’s wasting his time. The holier-than-thou crowd acts pure as snow, But they’re talking mad shit when nobody knows! (Laughter — HAHAHAHAHA!) The fanboys fight over fictional dudes, The gamers blame lag when they’re losing their food. The anime villain thinks he’s misunderstood, The dude wearing sunglasses indoors thinks he’s looking good! (Ad-lib: “TAKE THEM OFF, BRO!”) The sexist, racist, homophobic fool, Thinks being cruel makes him powerful and cool. But hate ain’t strength, and a slur ain’t a flex, You’re just a sad little clown with a Wi-Fi connection and an oversized neck! (Bass stutters — BRR-BRR-BRR-BOW!) I roast the hypocrites, the bullies, the liars, The fake-ass saints and the self-appointed messiahs. If you’re punching down, better duck when I swing, This whole damn circus is the joke that I bring! (Pre-Chorus — Witch House / Distorted Vocals) (The beat melts into a dark, reverberating synth.) Everybody’s fake… Everybody’s mad… Everybody’s convinced That they’re the best we’ve ever had… (Whispered voices overlap.) Left side… right side… Your side… my side… Big talk… small brain… EVERYBODY’S INSANE! (Huge reverse-bass riser.) (Chorus — Full Bass / Distorted Trap) FUCK YOUR EGO! FUCK YOUR PRIDE! Everybody’s got a clown on the inside! BLACK, WHITE, GAY, STRAIGHT! Everybody’s got some bullshit on their plate! BAD TAKES! BAD TASTE! BIG MOUTHS! NO BRAINS! WHO’S THE JOKE? LOOK IN THE MIRROR! TURN THAT BASS UP, MAKE THE DEVIL HEAR US! BOOM! BOOM! SHAKE THE FLOOR! Everybody’s got a skeleton behind the door! BOOM! BOOM! BREAK THE WALL! I’M AN EQUAL-OPPORTUNITY ASSHOLE! (Tazz-style vocal stabs: “WHAT! WHAT! WHAT!”) (Bridge — Country Guitar × Witch House) (Everything cut
