cryptid hotline: swamp witch brew

[INTRO] This ain't the fun kind of smoke... This that spellwork lung flavor. [SFX: BRANCH SNAP] I knew that witch been waitin' on me... I just didn't know she'd been keepin' score. [VERSE 1] Cold fingers wrapped around my heel Mud suckin' hard like it want me for real Fog rolled thick and her silhouette smiled Same witch that vaporized my beer last mile Hair floatin' like cursed floss thread Crooked little laugh like rusted lead She hissed my name like it owed her rent Even the swamp went, “Here we go again.” She said, “Boy, you been trespassin'.” I said, “I was fishin'.” She said, “Same thing.” Then the mud grabbed both my shoes And every dead tree started whisperin' news I tried to pull loose, she pulled me down Till I heard something growlin' underneath the ground [RAP VERSE 1] Yeah, she draggin' me slow through reptile sin Whispered, “Boy, you trespassed time again” Boots screamin', lungs got moss She filed my soul under interest cost Hands like cattail, teeth like bile Said, “You're mine for another dark mile” I said, “Lady, you got the wrong damn thug” Then I remembered the number Squatch gave me Hit that line with a desperate shrug “CRYPTID HOTLINE— SHE BACK— I'M STUCK!” [PRE-CHORUS] When her laugh rides low through the rot and clay You don't fight the witch, you call backup today When the fog grows teeth and the dead trees sway You dial three times and get out the way [CHORUS] The Swamp Witch pullin' me down again Her nails write curses in a candlestick pen So I hit the Cryptid Hotline screamin' loud Summon legends through the mold and shroud Squatch came thunderin' through the timber line Mothman lit up like a warning sign Kraken started boilin' that blackwater wild Ain't no witch takin' this swamp child [RAP VERSE 2] She chantin' backwards in swamp-law code Turned my shadow to an unpaid load Green light spiralin' over my head Even the moon looked down like, “I'm stayin' in bed” Ground shook hard like ancient drums Her smile cracked when she heard them come Wings cut fog like rusted knives Then Squatch hollered, “WITCH! RELEASE HIS LIFE!” She said, “This ain't your jurisdiction.” Squatch said, “I don't care.” Mothman said, “Neither do I.” Then something underneath the swamp Started breathing through the air [INSTRUMENTAL BREAK — WITCH VS CRYPTID FEVER BATTLE] [4 BARS — DOBRO HEX SLIDE] [4 BARS — FIDDLE PANIC SPIRAL] [4 BARS — BANJO WAR GALLOP] [4 BARS — KRAKEN SUB SURGE] [SFX: WITCH SCREAM SUCKED BACKWARD] [SFX: THUNDER RUPTURE] [VERSE 2] Squatch grabbed my jacket like prophecy cloth Mothman burned her vines with a crimson cough Kraken boiled her altar stone Said, “Ma'am, this bog is now a monitored zone.” She hissed three curses at a dead oak tree Then looked at all three like, “You're upsetting me.” She threw one spell and the cypress bent Squatch caught it laughing like, “Girl, that's cute.” Then Kraken rose up from the blackwater deep And the whole damn swamp forgot how to breathe I coughed up herbs, laughed half-mad I said, “Y'all late.” Squatch said, “Still glad.” [BRIDGE] She always returns on a vengeful tide But somehow my monsters stay by my side Maybe that's family Maybe that's fate Maybe I'm just terrible At pickin' the right lake [FINAL CHORUS] Swamp Witch tried to steal my breath But my hotline rang louder than death Roots trembled, fog apologized My cryptid kin stay mobilized When her nails scrape truth through the moss We summon something bigger than the cost She hexed my name, they broke the spell This ain't her pond— It's shared hell [APOLOGY INTERLUDE — THE BREW] [SFX: CAULDRON BUBBLE] [WITCH — SWEET, DISTORTED] “For the inconvenience... And the trauma... A peace offering.” [SFX: THICK GLUG INTO CARVED STUMP GOBLETS] [WITCH] “It's mostly medicinal.” [SQUATCH] “Mostly?” [SFX: SNIFF] [SQUATCH] “Hot.” [RAP TAG — BREW DESCENT] Man, I took one sip— My knees became poetry Mothman started cryin' At geometry Squatch gigglin' thunder tongue Kraken slow-dancin' with the moon Witch sittin' there grinnin' like She knew what it would do Sky melted down like haunted honey Ground hummed songs that weren't quite funny Trees started bending like they understood And my left shoe told me that it knew I should I asked the Witch, “What the hell is in this?” She said, “Growth.” I said, “That ain't an ingredient.” She said, “Not normally.” [FINAL OUTRO] Squatch hugging a tree Apologizin' to bark Mothman narratin' his own aura Like he's hostin' a documentary in the dark Kraken singing sea shanties To constellations overhead And the Witch? She just floating there Sippin' tea Smilin' like she won. I said, “So... we good?” She said, “For tonight.” Then she winked. And the swamp went quiet. Too quiet. [SFX: SOFT CORK POP] [SFX: BUBBLING FADE] [SFX: DISTANT WITCH GIGGLE] “Next time... Just ask before trespassin'.” [WHISPER] I really shoulda called first.