unwind time

i hate that i haven't ended this life i loathe that i haven't changed my ways i see the way that i imply that i could be different if i tried i hate that i carry all this weight i detest that i wear all of the blame i know i said that im fine but i shouldn't be able to be okay i infer that im right when all i am is wrong if i had the courage then i wouldn't be myself if i took the pain, if i let it go away then i dont know who i'd become if i stopped the hate, if i overcame my fate then i wonder what would be in store if i look in my eyes, if theres more than i despise then i know there could be a way if i unwind time, if i unwind time then maybe ill find myself again someday i hate the words that i say i hate that i'm the one that betrays i insinuate that i believe that there is more for me to achieve i hate that i tell white lies i hate that bluff keeps me alive i scream but its into a vacuum just so i wont hear the sound i know i could use help it could keep me steady if i reached for a hand would it open or close? if i fight off my fears all the anxious parts would i recognize that person i was once if i took the pain, if i let it go away then i dont know who i'd become if i stopped the hate, if i overcame my fate then i wonder what would be in store if i look in my eyes, if theres more than i despise then i know there could be a way if i unwind time, if i unwind time then maybe ill find myself again someday