[Verse 1 - Optimist Hits the Queue] Got a letter sayin’ I was pre-approved, Aeroplan points and a credit boost. Just a quick call, shoulda been smooth But the rep starts talkin’ like I’m makin’ a move. [Security Protocol Parody] “Need your birth date, your last two bills… Your income bracket and transferable skills.” [Chorus - Anthem of Resigned Defeat] I’ve been on hold since the fall of Rome, Trapped in a queue, can’t find my way home. Pressed 1 for mercy, didn’t get a tone, Now I live in the state of fuck it... deep in the monochrome. [Verse 2 - Everyone's Sludge Story] They’re all the same - DMV, insurance, tech support, Say the wrong word and you’ll get sent to court. “This call may be recorded,” they always explain, So they’ll know how to stall you again and again. [Empathy Script.exe] “Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line… Or if you’d like to speak with a human, please scream now.” [Chorus - Anthem of Resigned Defeat] I’ve been on hold since the fall of Rome, Trapped in a queue, can’t find my way home. Pressed 1 for mercy, didn’t get a tone, Now I live in the state of fuck it... deep in the monochrome. [Verse 3 - Why's it Different?] Called back later, got a different guy, Two clicks in he said, “You’re good to fly.” Fixed in minutes with no debate, no fight… Wish it was always this easy, Cause I'm Lovin that vibe. [On Hold Repeat] “Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line… [Bridge - Blueprint of Defeat] This ain’t a glitch, it’s the plan all along. Sludge makes it hard so you move along. “Fuck it” is the tune... welcome to the sing-along. [Chorus - Anthem of Resigned Defeat] I’ve been on hold since the fall of Rome, Trapped in a queue, can’t find my way home. Pressed 1 for mercy, didn’t get a tone, Now I live in the state of fuck it... deep in the monochrome. [Verse 4 - Sludge Equals Fuck It] Sludge is torturous. Sludge is endless. Sludge is excessive procedural fuss… So you’ll say “fuck it” — join the rest of us. [Outro - Join Everyone Else] Join the rest of us... Join the rest of us... Join the rest of us...
