SLH4F FILES HIS TAXES

high-pitch male vocals; noir and muted, ironic Cabaret / muted Klezmer, syncopations, sudden jumps, tempo stutters, echoes, reverbs, repeats, improvs, whistles, sound effects, high notes, non-monotonous

[INTRO – Clarinet stammers; piano searches for line spacing. Vocal enters mid-sentence.]  
(Dm)  
“...a Sad and Lonely Human”—  
(aka SLH4F)—  
has been reclassified  
as Sole Proprietor, Class B.

[VERSE 1 – Sings like a tax code being read aloud in iambic hexameter]  
He set up a booth on Columbus and 81st.  
The sign read: “Ethically Acquired Nostalgia.”  
Under the folding table: one thermos,  
two unpaid parking violations,  
and three copies of Das Kapital  
missing their Marxist pages.

His wares:  
- A menorah that leans  
- A box of unopened Freud-themed Band-Aids  
- 47 cassette tapes marked “misc.”  
- Two wooden ducks—“not a pair,” but emotionally entangled.

[CHORUS – whispered]  
Line 12: Gross receipts.  
Line 27: Expenses (unspecified).  
Line 31: This may not be a business.

[VERSE 2 – Rhyme scheme tightens, logic unravels]  
He claimed deductions for:
  - existential wear and tear,  
  - a Yiddish phrasebook marked “research,”  
  - one bagel per hour of public exposure.

He itemized despair  
beneath “Professional Services Rendered.”  
He filled out “Use of Home”  
and simply wrote: “What use?”

[CHORUS – now sardonic]  
Does this activity show a profit motive?  
Have you maintained books and records?  
Have you emotionally depreciated yet?

[BRIDGE – Spoken over ticking piano]  
He filed for an EIN.  
He received a W9  
addressed to “That Guy With the Hat and the Table.”  
He replied:  
Please see attached poem.

[VERSE 3 – Spirals outward, but lands too soon]  
He’s audited by ghosts.  
One hums "Hava Nagila" through a calculator.  
One insists the duck counts as inventory.  
One is just his mother, asking  
why he never sells anything blue.

[OUTRO – Final whisper, half-spoken]  
He will appeal.  
Or fold.  
Or deduct the season entirely.  
There is no Schedule F for Freedom.  
But he files anyway.

2308/7500

[BPM: Varied wildly 60-160] [Key: D minor] [Mood: slurred, Whimsical, mocking, satirical, emotionally raw, drunk, hesitant] [Vocals: Male vocals, dynamic expression, humorous melancholy] [Instrumentation: careless Piano-centric, muted clarinet improvisation, remote accordion flourishes, percussion accents, occasional contrabass thunder] [Effects: Echoes, reverbs, call-response, humorous sound effects, sudden silence, exaggerated sighs, rain] [INTRO – Clarinet stammers; piano searches for line spacing. Vocal enters mid-sentence.] (Dm) “...a Sad and Lonely Human”— (aka SLH4F)— has been reclassified as Sole Proprietor, Class B. [VERSE 1 – Sings like a tax code being read aloud in iambic hexameter] He set up a booth on Columbus and 81st. The sign read: “Ethically Acquired Nostalgia.” Under the folding table: one thermos, two unpaid parking violations, and three copies of Das Kapital missing their Marxist pages. His wares: - A menorah that leans - A box of unopened Freud-themed Band-Aids - 47 cassette tapes marked “misc.” - Two wooden ducks—“not a pair,” but emotionally entangled. [CHORUS – whispered] Line 12: Gross receipts. Line 27: Expenses (unspecified). Line 31: This may not be a business. [VERSE 2 – Rhyme scheme tightens, logic unravels] He claimed deductions for: - existential wear and tear, - a Yiddish phrasebook marked “research,” - one bagel per hour of public exposure. He itemized despair beneath “Professional Services Rendered.” He filled out “Use of Home” and simply wrote: “What use?” [CHORUS – now sardonic] Does this activity show a profit motive? Have you maintained books and records? Have you emotionally depreciated yet? [BRIDGE – Spoken over ticking piano] He filed for an EIN. He received a W9 addressed to “That Guy With the Hat and the Table.” He replied: Please see attached poem. [VERSE 3 – Spirals outward, but lands too soon] He’s audited by ghosts. One hums "Hava Nagila" through a calculator. One insists the duck counts as inventory. One is just his mother, asking why he never sells anything blue. [OUTRO – Final whisper, half-spoken] He will appeal. Or fold. Or deduct the season entirely. There is no Schedule F for Freedom. But he files anyway.

0/500