Comments [INTRO] [whispered voice] Step one... Don't call it love. [VERSE 1] First I found a name for what I felt, Then I found a reason it was wrong. Maybe it was something someone did, Maybe I had learned it from a song. So I built a little courtroom in my head, Put my heart and every thought on trial. Every time a boy could make me smile, I would punish myself for one more mile. [PRE-CHORUS] I became the doctor, I became the disease. I became the prison guard Holding onto me. [CHORUS] I tried to cure a feeling, I tried to change my mind. I searched for something broken I could leave behind. I practiced being somebody I thought I'd have to be, But every door I locked Just led me back to me. [VERSE 2] Step two... Don't look too long. Step three... Don't dream about him. Step four... If your heart remembers, Call it weakness. Call it sin. Call it anything but what it is. I turned attraction into evidence, Turned every fantasy into a crime. Started keeping score against myself, One more failure at a time. [PRE-CHORUS] I became the witness, I became the judge. I kept confusing fear with truth And punishment with love. [CHORUS] I tried to cure a feeling, I tried to change my mind. I searched for something broken I could leave behind. I practiced being somebody I thought I'd have to be, But every door I locked Just led me back to me. [BRIDGE] Then came the dream I didn't choose. Then came the heartbeat I couldn't lose. No prayer. No promise. No perfect disguise. Could make my heart Believe a lie. [BREAKDOWN] [spoken, increasingly fractured] Maybe I'm fixed. Maybe I'm fixed. Maybe I'm fixed... [beat drops out] Why am I still hiding? [FINAL CHORUS] I tried to cure a feeling, But the feeling wasn't sick. I tried to cut myself away From something I couldn't pick. I thought becoming someone else Would finally make me free, Then I heard the quiet voice beneath it: "Nothing was wrong with me." [OUTRO] [soft, distant vocal] I wasn't broken. I was afraid. And somebody else's fear Was wearing my face. [Clean Vocal Ending]
