MALFOY'S MOM HAS GOT IT GOING ON [Intro – Spoken] "Hey, Draco!" "What?" "Your mum coming to the party?" "...Don't you dare." [Verse 1] Draco sent an invite to his fancy family ball, I showed up in dress robes, nearly tripped inside the hall. Lucius was glaring, looking colder than a stone, Then Narcissa walked in, and I forgot why I'd come! Silver-blonde hair and a dress of midnight black, Every wizard in the room was getting whiplash! Draco saw me staring, said, "You'd better disappear!" I said, "Relax, mate!" He said, "GET OUT OF HERE!" [Pre-Chorus] She's got that pure-blood elegance, That legendary confidence, One look across the ballroom floor, And I can't think anymore! [Chorus] 🎵 Malfoy's mom has got it going on! She's the queen of the ballroom all night long! Draco's looking furious, Lucius has his wand, But Malfoy's mom has got it going on! She's got style, she's got class, Makes the whole Great Hall gasp! Draco, don't be mad, you know I'm not wrong— MALFOY'S MOM HAS GOT IT GOING ON! [Verse 2] I saw her at the Ministry, she smiled and said hello, I nearly dropped my wand and tripped right over my own robes. Draco grabbed my shoulder, said, "You need to understand, That's my mum you're talking to, not some witch from a band!" Lucius came around the corner, looking less than pleased, I tried to play it cool, but my knees were going weak. He said, "Have you got a problem?" I said, "No, sir, not at all!" Then I accidentally shouted, "SHE'S THE BEST ONE AT THE BALL!" [Pre-Chorus] She's got that icy confidence, A smile that makes no sense, I've faced a dozen curses, But this one's so much worse! [Chorus] 🎵 Malfoy's mom has got it going on! She's the queen of the ballroom all night long! Draco's looking furious, Lucius has his wand, But Malfoy's mom has got it going on! She's got style, she's got class, Makes the whole Great Hall gasp! Draco, don't be mad, you know I'm not wrong— MALFOY'S MOM HAS GOT IT GOING ON! [Bridge – Spoken Comedy Breakdown] Draco: "Seriously? MY MOTHER?" Me: "I'm just saying she's beautiful!" Draco: "MY FATHER IS RIGHT THERE!" Lucius: "Would you care to repeat that?" Me: "...Expecto Apologium?" Record scratch. Complete silence. Narcissa: "Oh, Lucius. Leave the poor boy alone." Me: "SEE?! SHE'S AMAZING!" Draco: "I HATE ALL OF YOU!" [Guitar Solo – Explosive Pop-Punk Riff] [Final Chorus – Full Band, Gang Vocals] 🎵 MALFOY'S MOM HAS GOT IT GOING ON! Even the portraits have been singing along! Lucius wants to hex me, Draco wants me gone, BUT MALFOY'S MOM HAS GOT IT GOING ON! She's got style, she's got class, And an aristocratic sass! Somebody tell Draco that I'm moving on— BUT HIS MOM HAS STILL GOT IT GOING ON! [Outro – Spoken] Draco: "You're never coming to my house again." Me: "Fair enough." Pause. Me: "What about Christmas?" Draco: "AVADA—" Music cuts off.
