[Female Vocalist] [Intro] Tickets? Got one! Rollercoaster? Fine! Cotton candy? Fucking divine! So where's the fun? [Verse 1] I walked through the gates With a grin on my face Saw a thousand happy people Having perfectly safe days The rides are all working The lights are all bright Nobody's screaming Except with delight I looked at the ferris wheel I looked at the track I looked at all the buildings And thought, "Something's fucking lacking." [Chorus] THIS ISN'T FUCKING FUN! NOTHING'S ON FIRE! NOTHING'S EXPLODING! NOBODY'S SCREAMING FOR THEIR FUCKING LIFE! THIS ISN'T FUCKING FUN! WHAT A WASTE OF A DAY! If nothing gets broken Then what's the fucking point Of coming here anyway? [Verse 2] So I climbed on the coaster And waited my turn It went up It went down And nothing would burn! I screamed at the operator "YOU CALL THIS A RIDE?" Then I kicked the safety bar And jumped off the side! The crowd started screaming At last, some applause! I opened a portal And shouted: "LET'S IMPROVE THIS FUCKING PLACE!" [Chorus] THIS IS FUCKING FUN! NOW THE FIRE IS HIGHER! THE CAROUSEL'S SPINNING AND SOMEONE'S ON FIRE! THIS IS FUCKING FUN! HEAR THE SCREAMING AND CHEER! I'VE FINALLY FOUND A PARK THAT'S WORTH COMING HERE! [Verse 3] I smashed the arcade I broke every game The bumper cars weren't moving So I set them aflame The haunted house was boring So I freed all the ghosts The gift shop had souvenirs I turned them into toast The rollercoaster's missing A rather important track But don't worry, little humans **I'LL PUT THE FUCKING PORTAL BACK!** [Breakdown] WHO WANTS A REFUND? WHO WANTS TO SCREAM? WHO WANTS TO SEE A FUCKING FERRIS WHEEL FLY? ME! [Final Chorus] THIS IS FUCKING FUN! NOW THE WHOLE PARK'S ALIVE! RIDES ARE EXPLODING! THE GIFT SHOP'S ON FIRE! THIS IS FUCKING FUN! WHAT A BEAUTIFUL SIGHT! Nothing says family fun Like a fucking emergency light! THIS IS FUCKING FUN! LET THE FIREWORKS GO! If the police arrive Then I'll simply say: **"WHERE DID BLO...?"** [Outro] ... Right. Police. **PORTAL!** Best funpark ever.
