[Verse 1] Two hundred and fifty years That's a hell of a run We've got forty-two million on food stamps And a cage fight on the lawn Twenty-eight million uninsured The opioid count keeps climbing But the octagon's up on the South Lawn And the pyrotechnics are primed and [Chorus] Happy Birthday America You've never looked more like yourself Happy Birthday America Here's to your very good health [Verse 2] We spend more on the military Than the next ten nations combined We couldn't build the water treatment plant But we built the finest killing machine of all time The nurse makes too much, they say The veteran waits in line But Topuria and Gay-thee are fighting Right outside where Lincoln used to dine [Chorus] Happy Birthday America You've never looked more like yourself Happy Birthday America Here's to your very good health [Bridge] This isn't a departure from our values Don't you dare call it a fall A hundred thousand people on the Ellipse Rome had bread and circuses We've got this [Verse 3] The Rose Garden's paved over now The East Wing's been knocked down Four hundred million for a ballroom And a UFC cage for the town They weigh in at the Lincoln Memorial Flag Day, his birthday, same date Two hundred and fifty years of choices Led us right to this gate [Final Chorus] Happy Birthday America You've never looked more like yourself Happy Birthday America (pause) Here's to your health
