[Intro] One,..... two,........ three,........... four! [Verse 1] Showed up late, didn’t even try, Half asleep, with bloodshot eyes. (Ugh!) Boss said “Do better,” I said “Nah!” Now I’m the “Employee of the Month”—hoo-rah! [Pre-Chorus] [Drums build, guitars open up] Mom said I’m "special," can’t be beat, Even when I’m glued to the back of my seat! Life’s a game? Cool, I’ll skip the test, Still get the prize, man, failure’s blessed! [Chorus] [Fast and loud, gang vocals on last line] Thanks for the trophy, thanks for the praise! I showed up late and slept through the day! Gold star, blue ribbon, round of applause— For doin' nothin’—YEAH, I’M MY OWN BOSS! [Verse 2] Signed up for the gym, never even went, Got the shirt, took a pic—hella time well spent! Got a loan for school, dropped out next week, Still flexin’ that debt like it’s somethin' unique. [Pre-Chorus] Coach said “Push harder!”, I said “Nah, I'm good.” Sat on the bench like a real champ would. Life’s too short to break a sweat, Give me my crown, I’m not done yet! [Chorus] Thanks for the trophy, thanks for the praise! I showed up late and slept through the day! Gold star, blue ribbon, round of applause— For doin' nothin’—YEAH, I’M MY OWN BOSS! [Bridge] “You tried your best!” (Did I though?) “You gave it your all!” (Nope!) “You’re a winner in my heart!” (Bruh…) Man, y’all standards pretty small. Everybody wins, nobody falls, Medals for the zombies, trophies for the walls! Life’s one big pat on the back— For watchin’ the world while you fade to black. (Laaaame!) [Chorus] Thanks for the trophy, thanks for the praise! I showed up late and slept through the day! Gold star, blue ribbon, round of applause— For doin' nothin’—YEAH, I’M MY OWN BOSS! [Outro] Winner! Champion! Livin' the dream! King of the couch and the broken machine! Participation trophy, wear it like a crown— But you know I ain’t earned nothin’… sit back down. (Ugh!)
