Stopped in for lunch at Taco Bell, Crunchwrap Supreme, yeah I love that smell. Extra beans, hot sauce on the side, Thought I was ready for that spicy ride. An hour later, drivin’ home real fast, Felt a little pressure buildin’ up my ass. Rolled the windows down, thought I’d let one slip, But that burrito planned another trip. I sharted… in my brand-new jeans, Wasn’t in the plan, if you know what I mean. From a Baja Blast to a bathroom scene, Yeah I sharted… livin’ Taco Bell dreams. Pulled off the road at a Circle K, Walked stiff-legged in, like I’d lost my way. Prayed no one noticed as I shuffled past, Every step I took might’ve been my last. Locked that door, threw my pride away, Swore I’d never eat twelve tacos in a day. But the devil’s dance is a spicy one, And my digestive war had only begun. I sharted… in the checkout line, Taco Tuesday turned a shade unkind. You can laugh at me, but I’ll be fine, Yeah I sharted… and the mess was mine. Life’s a gamble, every bite you take, Every sauce packet’s a choice you make. Thought I’d roll the dice with fire supreme… But the beans and cheese tore apart my dream. I sharted… oh Lord, I sharted, Didn’t mean to start it, but the tale’s been charted. My underwear and jeans have been discarded. Yeah I sharted… and the legend just got started. [Spoken] This is a story about my brother Bill. It was just easier to write it in first person, honest.
