[Verse 1] Picture this, babe Smile for the crown Lost your kid in Sainsbury's Then you wandered out Halfway to the car park With your trolley and your pride Forgot your little shadow Then laughed when they cried [Pre-Chorus] Oh, what a queen What a saint Gold medal parenting Wrapped in shame [Chorus] Mum of the year Mum of the year What a masterpiece What a souvenir Mum of the year Mum of the year Leave the kid behind Then you disappear [Verse 2] Rolled into Superdrug With a hungry little grin Slipped the makeup in your bag Like it was built-in skin Then bragged all night Like that made you smart Stealing cheap gloss And breaking hearts [Pre-Chorus] Oh, what a star What a scene Clapping for the chaos On the front-page dream [Chorus] Mum of the year Mum of the year What a masterpiece What a souvenir Mum of the year Mum of the year Leave the kid behind Then you disappear [Verse 3] Met a bloke that day Now he’s on your sofa While the grandparents sit outside Watching over the stroller Smoke in the room And a bloke about to nut You call it freedom We call it being a slut [Bridge] Raise a glass To the mess you made A roast in the oven And a child unpaid Out in the garden They did your job While you sucked off a bloke Then he slipped you his shaft [Final Chorus] Mum of the year Mum of the year What a masterpiece What a souvenir Mum of the year Mum of the year Leave the kid behind Then you disappear Mum of the year Mum of the year This parenting lark You’re a bit shit at it dear Mum of the year Mum of the year Best of the wrecks Of the whole damn year
