Intro: Come gather ‘round the courthouse, the tales are quite absurd, Of justice turned to chaos and the scandals that occurred. With a gavel made of cardboard and a wig askew in grime, Meet Judge Humbly McFumble, the patron saint of crime. Verse 1: He sat on the bench with an unsteady hand, A head judge so clueless, he could barely command. His courtroom was wild, his rulings were jokes, And his judges ran rampant like unscrupulous blokes. Pre-Chorus: Bribes under the table, decisions for sale, The justice system staggered and began to derail. Chorus: Oh, Humbly McFumble, the head of the court, Where justice and reason fell painfully short. A circus of crooks, a scandalous crew, And all he could say was, “What’s a judge to do?” Verse 2: One judge took a bribe in a greasy brown sack, Another ruled guilty while flipping a snack. The jury got lost in a hall full of mice, And the bailiff was caught selling counterfeit dice. Bridge: Oh, rulings reversed! Oh, laws left in shreds! They gambled on justice and auctioned the dreads. In chambers of chaos, McFumble just sighed, “My friends, I’m just one man! This system’s too wide!” Chorus: Oh, Humbly McFumble, the head of the court, Where justice and reason fell painfully short. A circus of crooks, a scandalous crew, And all he could say was, “What’s a judge to do?” Verse 3: When scandals hit papers, the people grew loud, Demanding the judges step down and be cowed. But Humbly just stammered, “Let’s all take a pause, I can’t sack my judges—they write Santa Claus!” Pre-Chorus: With bribes still a-plenty, the verdicts went wrong, And chaos grew louder, a dissonant song. Chorus: Oh, Humbly McFumble, the head of the court, Where justice and reason fell painfully short. A circus of crooks, a scandalous crew, And all he could say was, “What’s a judge to do?” Outro: Now the courthouse is rubble, its pillars all cracked, And Humbly’s been exiled to a bench in the back. He preaches of fairness, but the pigeons all scoff, For they’ve heard better rulings from a coin flip or cough. Final Chorus (soft): Oh, Humbly McFumble, the head of the court, Where justice and reason fell painfully short. A lesson in chaos, a warning that’s true: Beware a head judge who just says, “What’s a judge to do?”
