[Intro] [sneaky pizzicato strings, spooky xylophone, accordion stab, theremin, candy wrapper crinkle, scatting] chitter-chatter, chitter-chitter, kiki-kiki-kik Chuku-chuku-trrr, kik-kik-kik, trrr-ch-ch-ch, bip-bop, chikachika-chika! [Spoken, bright high-pitched female voice] "Happy November First, baby! I sorted the candy while you slept! What's on my cheek? Nothing, it's a birthmark! Let's do the math! (Chuku-chuku-trrr! kik-kik-kik, trrr-ch-ch-ch, bip-bop!)" [Verse 1: Sassy Female Vocal] Pink heart bag, shiny and clear, Scratched out her name with a Sharpie smear! Wrote "FROM DORA" with a tiny heart, Sorting out the bucket is a high-level art! Four Tootsie Rolls! Two wax taffies! One loose candy corn, why aren't you happy?! Plus a yellow box from the grocery shelf— I did all the heavy lifting by myself! [Pre-Chorus: Female Vocal] Why you looking for a battle in the law?! Shake the box! Go tell yer Ma! Wait—how many raisins are in a pack? Thirty-six! Thirty-seven! Put the extras back! [Chorus: Bright Female Vocal, cheerleader claps and bounce] Forty-three pieces if you count the raisins! That's raccoon math and it's freakin' amazin'! I took the Reese's and the Gummy Clusters too, Left the healthy stuff to take care of you! Scratch-scratch, hiss-hiss, gimme a kiss! You got forty-three pieces in a bag like this! (Ksssh-ksssh, h-ha! Rrr-nawrr, hhhhhhh-bop!) [Scatting ad-lib: Female Vocal] chitter-chatter, chitter-chatter, kkkkkk-HISS! Shhhhhh-HA! Huff-huff, grrr-ksssh, skee-da-shhhhhh, all mine, all mine! [Verse 2: Female Rap Vocal, bouncy beat, sassy Chicago girl flow] So. Nine-seventeen and my phone blows up, Four hundred parents in the HOA club! Saying "Who gave my kid a cough drop and a dime?!" Babe, it was FREE CANDY, since when is that a crime?! Then Mrs. Henderson peeking through the pane, Forty-two and thirsty in my driveway lane! She bought you King-Size Snickers in a sweater cut low? Finna flip her Honda Civic in the cul-de-sac snow! (Dibs!) Eight thousand calories of peanut butter fuel, Tore up the door frame just to keep my cool! [Chorus: Bright Female Vocal] Forty-three pieces if you count the raisins! That's raccoon math and it's freakin' amazin'! I took the pumpkins and the Gummy Clusters too, Left the high-fiber stuff just to take care of you! Scratch-scratch, hiss-hiss, gimme a kiss! You got forty-three pieces in a bag like this! [Dance Break: accordion, spooky xylophone solo, and scatting chittering] chitter-chatter, chitter-chatter, kkkkkk-MINE! Mmmmm-grrrrr… WUF! Trrr-trrr, eep! Eeee-YAAAH-ba-da-purrrrr-HISS! [Spoken, FEMALE golden retriever voice] "Hey neighbors! I posted on Facebook that Dora ate all your kids' chocolate! Helping! (Woof!)" [Spoken, snobby British male voice] "Unhand my Belgian truffles, you striped goblin!" [Spoken, bratty female voice] "Whatever, Brad! Thanks for the truffles! Get off my lawn! (HISS!)" [Verse 3: Sassy Female Vocal] Don't look for your shoes, don't look for your keys, They're at the bottom of the closet by the Reese's trees! Emailed your boss at three A.M. Hey!, Told him you got scurvy or a fever or the plague! Seven-day lock-in, hoodies on the floor, Get inside the nest while I bolt the door! [Bridge: Soft Female Vocal, slow music-box lullaby, sleepy and cute] Okay, my tummy hurts... the sugar wore off... Maybe the Tootsie Rolls were a little too tough... I saved you one Snickers at the bottom of the pile, I just go crazy when that neighbor gives you a smile... [Spoken, tiny pouty female voice] "You're not gonna go across the street for her candy, right, baby? You can have the Gummy Clusters... Well... 49 percent of 'em." [Final Chorus: Huge Key Change, Powerful Female Vocal] So many pieces if you count the raisins! Locking down the closet for the winter hibernatin'! I took the pumpkins and the Belgian truffles too, Built a six-foot mountain out of hoodies for you! Scritch-scratch, hiss-hiss, gimme a kiss! Nobody loves a trash panda like this! (HISS!) [Scatting, big finish: Female Vocal] chitter-chatter, chitter-chatter, kkkkkk Peep-peep, prrrrr-trrr, dabba-dabba kik-kik, pshhh-weet-MINE! (CHITTER-HISS!) [Spoken, female] "Anyway... you're welcome!" ... ... ... "Happy Halloween!"
