Silicon Cathedral - Drop Database Prod

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V6-MINI

[Ballad Verse — Bb Major]
[voice: junior dev, 24, male tenor, crying]
[Bb] Mama... just killed [Gm] prod.
[Cm] Ran the script without a test, [F] hit commit and guessed the rest.
[Bb] Mama... sprint had just [Gm] begun,
[Cm] But now I've dropped the table and it's [F] gone.
[Bb] Mama, [Gm] ooo-oo-ooh! [Cm] Didn't mean to crash the [F] queue!
If the [Bb] failover's not [Gm] up this time tomorrow,
[Cm] Carry on, [F] carry on, as if [Bb] backups never mattered...

[Operatic Breakdown — Eb Dorian]
[tempo jumps to 138 BPM, staccato piano]
| Eb | Bb | Eb | Bb |
[voice: junior dev, 24, panicked]
I see a little silhouetto of a ping!
[voice: zoom chorus, operatic falsettos]
[Kubernetes! Kubernetes! Will you do the pod restart?]
[voice: lead dba, 52, booming bass]
Thunderbolt of latency, very very frightening me!
[voice: zoom chorus]
[Git revert! Git revert! Git revert! Git revert! Git revert, merge conflict! MAGNIFICO-O-O!]
[voice: junior dev]
I'm just a contractor, nobody loves me!
[voice: zoom chorus]
[He's just an intern from an offshore agency! Spare him his stock grants from this monstrosity!]

[Rock Outburst — F Mixolydian]
[heavy distorted guitar riff, 144 BPM]
| F | Bb | F | Bb |
[voice: junior dev, full rock screech, angry]
[F] So you think you can ping me and [Bb] page me at night?!
[F] So you think you can make me write [Bb] hotfixes tight?!
[Eb] Oh, baby! [F] Can't do this to me, baby!
[Bb] Just gotta sign off, [Eb] just gotta log out of [F] Slack!

[Outro — Bb Major]
[piano returns, slow tempo 70 BPM]
[voice: junior dev, whispering, defeated]
[Bb] Nothing really matters... [Gm]
[Cm] Any way the cloud bills [F] blow...
[gong hit, tape stop effect]
[Outro]
[Hard cut]

2104/7500

[Intro — Bb Major] | Bb Gm | Cm F | Bb Gm | Cm F | [voice: junior dev, 24, male tenor, shaking, close-mic] Is this the staging site? Is this reality? [Bb] Caught in a rollback, [Gm] no escape from prod's [Cm] gravity... [F] [Gm] Open your tabs, look up at the logs and [F] see... [Cm] I'm just a junior, [F] I need no sympathy... Because I'm [Bb] easy hire, [Gm] easy fire, [Cm] high CPU, [F] disk expire. [Ballad Verse — Bb Major] [voice: junior dev, 24, male tenor, crying] [Bb] Mama... just killed [Gm] prod. [Cm] Ran the script without a test, [F] hit commit and guessed the rest. [Bb] Mama... sprint had just [Gm] begun, [Cm] But now I've dropped the table and it's [F] gone. [Bb] Mama, [Gm] ooo-oo-ooh! [Cm] Didn't mean to crash the [F] queue! If the [Bb] failover's not [Gm] up this time tomorrow, [Cm] Carry on, [F] carry on, as if [Bb] backups never mattered... [Operatic Breakdown — Eb Dorian] [tempo jumps to 138 BPM, staccato piano] | Eb | Bb | Eb | Bb | [voice: junior dev, 24, panicked] I see a little silhouetto of a ping! [voice: zoom chorus, operatic falsettos] [Kubernetes! Kubernetes! Will you do the pod restart?] [voice: lead dba, 52, booming bass] Thunderbolt of latency, very very frightening me! [voice: zoom chorus] [Git revert! Git revert! Git revert! Git revert! Git revert, merge conflict! MAGNIFICO-O-O!] [voice: junior dev] I'm just a contractor, nobody loves me! [voice: zoom chorus] [He's just an intern from an offshore agency! Spare him his stock grants from this monstrosity!] [Rock Outburst — F Mixolydian] [heavy distorted guitar riff, 144 BPM] | F | Bb | F | Bb | [voice: junior dev, full rock screech, angry] [F] So you think you can ping me and [Bb] page me at night?! [F] So you think you can make me write [Bb] hotfixes tight?! [Eb] Oh, baby! [F] Can't do this to me, baby! [Bb] Just gotta sign off, [Eb] just gotta log out of [F] Slack! [Outro — Bb Major] [piano returns, slow tempo 70 BPM] [voice: junior dev, whispering, defeated] [Bb] Nothing really matters... [Gm] [Cm] Any way the cloud bills [F] blow... [gong hit, tape stop effect] [Outro] [Hard cut]

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