[Intro] (Slow, mournful acoustic guitar and weeping pedal steel guitar) [Verse 1] There’s an empty lawn chair sitting on my porch today Got a six-pack in the cooler, but nobody’s here to play I sent a text at noon asking if you wanted to ride You replied three hours later saying you were stuck inside. Now you’re picking out throw pillows at the Bed Bath & Beyond Drinking fancy IPAs while I’m sitting by the pond She put a leash on your weekend, put a lock upon your soul Now you’re eating avocado toast instead of pizza rolls. [Chorus] We were Gem Mint Tens in a world of Heavily Played Now I’m drinking warm beer in the shadow that we made You took half of my heart, you took the Charizard Left a hole in my chest... and a void in my card sleeve. [Verse 2] So we sat at the kitchen table like a couple getting divorced Laid out the penny sleeves, every single boundary enforced You claimed the PSA nine Blastoise 'cause you bought the box that year I said I pulled it on a Tuesday while you were grabbing us a beer. We argued over centering and whitening on the back Nostalgia isn't worth a dime when a friendship starts to crack You took the holographic Gyarados and left me sitting cold With forty basic Energy cards that’ll never, ever sell. [Chorus] We were Gem Mint Tens in a world of Heavily Played Now I’m drinking warm beer in the shadow that we made You took half of my heart, you took the Charizard Left a hole in my chest... and a void in my card sleeve. [Bridge] (Tempo slows down, heavy pedal steel solo leading into dramatic vocals) Back when we shared a sleeper sofa in two-thousand-nine, And thought a frozen Totino’s pizza tasted just fine. Holding the flashlight while you worked on the truck, Cheering in the aisle when that booster pack struck. We had a ten-year plan, we had a binder of gold, Before you went and let our inner children get old. [Chorus] We were Gem Mint Tens in a world of Heavily Played Now I’m drinking warm beer in the shadow that we made You took half of my heart, you took the Charizard Left a hole in my chest... and a void in my card sleeve. [Verse 3] I thought we’d keep 'em safe, mate, tucked inside the vault Until I found out why this whole train came to a halt You dragged our joint childhood straight down to the local shop To cash in your half of the loot before the market dropped. You sold off our Shadowless collection to pay for wedding veils Traded in ten years of memories for catering and Zales You treated 90s cardboard like selling off the farm Just to put a shiny diamond on somebody else's arm. [Final Chorus] We were Gem Mint Tens in a world of Heavily Played Now I’m drinking warm beer in the shadow that we made You took half of my heart, you took the Charizard Left a hole in my chest... and a void in my card sleeve. [Outro] (Acoustic strumming slows down, sad pedal steel bend) [Spoken] I guess some bonds just ain't built to last... Pass me that top loader. [End]
