She’s a vision in the security line Looking sharp and feeling fine She steps through the frame, strike a pose Then the whole terminal explodes! BEEP BEEP BEEP! The lights go red The TSA agent shakes his head "Got any keys? A belt? A coin?" She feels a twitch in her silver-studded groin! Oh, she’s got eighteen reasons to trigger the chime A walking hardware store, committed the crime! From her eyebrows down to her secret toes Where the metal ends, nobody knows! She’s the Magnetic Maiden, the Queen of the Scan Setting off the sensors of every man! The tiny studs didn't make a sound But the heavy artillery was waiting to be found She forgot the hoops, she forgot the bars She’s got enough steel to build three cars! "Ma'am, is that a barbell in your ear?" She says, "Honey, that's the least of it, I fear!" One in the nose, two in the tongue Industrial bars where the bells are rung Nipple rings clinking like a dinner bell The X-ray machine is going straight to hell! UNZIP THE JACKET! SHOW US THE CHROME! Oh, she’s got eighteen reasons to trigger the chime A walking hardware store, committed the crime! From her eyebrows down to her silver toes Where the metal hides, only the sensor knows! She’s the Magnetic Maiden, the Queen of the Scan Confusing the plans of the security man! The tiny studs didn't make a sound But the heavy artillery was waiting to be found She forgot the hoops, she forgot the bars She’s got enough steel to build three cars! "Ma'am, is that a barbell in your ear?" She says, "Honey, that's just the start, I fear!" One in the nose, two in the tongue Industrial bars where the bells are rung Silver in the navel, studs in the wrist A metallic puzzle with a shiny twist! CHECK THE BOOTS! CHECK THE CHROME! Oh, she’s got eighteen reasons to trigger the chime A walking hardware store, committed the crime! From her eyebrows down to her silver toes Where the metal hides, only the sensor knows! She’s the Magnetic Maiden, the Queen of the Scan Confusing the plans of the security man! (Music slows down to a heavy, industrial beat) "Please step aside for a manual check..." She clinks and she clanks from her feet to her neck. "Oops... forgot the ankle chain."
