Yo, listen up, this ain't no church sermon Got a problem, man, it's urgent, it's burnin' Woke up this mornin', feelin' like hell Stomach's doin' flips, I can't tell Chorus: Jesus, help me take a crap, it's stuck Feels like I'm about to erupt My ass, man, it's gonna be a mess Like an alien's about to hatch, I guess Verse 1: I'm sittin' on the throne, prayin' for relief Feelin' like my guts are in a beef Ain't no shame, I'm shoutin' it loud This shit's stuck, I'm talkin' to the crowd The pressure's buildin', I'm sweatin' like mad Got me swearin', shit, fuck, this is bad I'm beggin', pleadin', "Jesus, lend a hand Get this shit movin', I can't stand!" Chorus: Jesus, help me take a crap, it's stuck Feels like I'm about to erupt My ass, man, it's gonna be a mess Like an alien's about to hatch, I guess Verse 2: I'm cramped up, doubled over, damn Feels like my insides are in a jam I swear, this is worse than any fight This shit's real, man, it ain't right Prayin' to the porcelain god, "Please, release" This ain't funny, got me on my knees I'm shoutin', "Fuck, shit, damn, this is cruel" Need a miracle, not just some stool Bridge: I'm scared, man, I might explode My ass, it's like a damn code Locked up tight, ain't no key Jesus, help me, set me free Chorus: Jesus, help me take a crap, it's stuck Feels like I'm about to erupt My ass, man, it's gonna be a mess Like an alien's about to hatch, I guess Outro: So here I am, prayin' for a break Before my ass becomes a cosmic shake This ain't no laugh, this ain't no game Just need that relief, in Jesus' name Remember, keep it real, keep it raw When you're stuck like this, it's war But with a little faith, and a lot of hope Even this shit, man, we can cope.
