Numb

©Doll It’s been so long since I last felt...like I could do anything at all, I’ve been so numb since I last felt, anything at all. I wake up turn on the light make some coffee and smoke away my life, I’m not happy but I’m not sad I’m just nothing in the nothingness I have. I stare out the window, watch the world drift by, another day, another chance to try. I move through the motions, but there’s nothing inside, just an empty space where my feelings hide. I breathe in the smoke, let it cloud my mind, searching for meaning I can’t seem to find. I’m not angry...but I’m not calm...just a lingering thought in a silent storm. I’m numb to the pain, numb to the fight, nothing feels wrong, but nothing feels right. I’m lost in the haze, just drifting away, can’t find the strength to care or to stay. I’m numb to the world, numb to the sound, nothing lifts me up, nothing pulls me down. I’m stuck in between, just wasting away, too tired to feel, too empty to say... I’m numb to the world, numb to the blame, nothing can change, nothing feels the same. Caught in the drift, just floating on by, no tears left to shed, no more reasons to try. The days blend together, a dull, gray view, nothing to look forward to, nothing to do. I watch the clock tick, but time seems still, trapped in a pattern I can’t seem to kill. I pour another cup, light another smoke, but the warmth is fleeting, and I’m left to choke. I’m not lost...but I’m not found...just moving in circles, never touching ground. I’m drifting through a fog I can’t escape, feeling every moment but nothing takes shape. The world is a blur, colors all blend, each day’s just a repeat with no start and no end. The silence is heavy, the stillness loud, searching for a spark in a crowd that’s not proud. All the pieces are scattered, I can’t find the whole, just a drifting sensation, a hollowed-out soul. I’m numb to the pain, numb to the fight, nothing feels wrong, but nothing feels right. I’m lost in the haze, just drifting away, can’t find the strength to care or to stay. I’m numb to the world, numb to the sound, nothing lifts me up, nothing pulls me down. I’m stuck in between, just wasting away, too tired to feel, too empty to say... I’m numb to the world, numb to the blame, nothing can change, nothing feels the same. Caught in the drift, just floating on by, no tears left to shed, no more reasons to try. So I close my eyes and let it all fade, no more battles left, no more debts to be paid. In the quiet, I’ll finally find, a place where I’m not lost inside my mind.