[Intro — almost empty, low sustained tone, long air] I had all the gear. [pause] I had the map. The location. I had practiced the cold many, many times. the window open all winter. December in the room. I was preparing for somewhere I never went. [space] My mind was planning how to survive in the snow. I was wishing I could disappear in it. [low resonant note — decay] I thought I needed the mountain. life brought me something lonelier. [long pause] You asked: Did you learn what you sought to? More. More than I sought to. And in a way much more cruel. [near silence] but here I am. here I am. And somehow... I still love. [low bass enters, barely moving] You said: I found God in my abyss. I knew what you meant. [space] I have fled from Him because of men... then wondered if He thought I was ungrateful. [distant resonant ping] I don't want to explain God and forget the person. I don't want doctrine to arrive before compassion. [long instrumental space] we wrestle not against flesh and blood. not flesh. not blood. and I need all the help I can get. [bass shifts — unresolved] You said: that's how obsolete I've become. yet I still yearn for more. [very quiet] obsolete. is not the same thing as worthless. [space] some things become more precious after the world stops knowing what they're for. [long pause] maybe your value never diminished. maybe the world forgot how to measure it. [almost whispered] I would call you by your name... but it is redacted. [one low tone — no resolution]
