Water Into Blood

[Intro - Low, Exhausted] They've seen too much blood. My family... They've seen what I become when the anger gets louder than me. And I hate that they have to remember it. [Verse 1] Sadness ain't the same when you see it in their faces, Family watched the aftermath, standing in the same places Where my anger left a mark that I wish I could erase, Now every room remembers something I don't wanna face Self-disgust, looking back at every action, Knowing I was aggravated, moving purely off reaction I can blame the pressure, blame the rage, blame the pain, But when the smoke clears, I'm the one left with the name I've seen too much blood, They've seen too much too, And every time I think about it, I wonder what I put them through That's the part that hurts different, Not the damage that I made, It's knowing people who love me had to watch me deteriorate [Hook] Blood sheds, turns to tears, Tears fall, turn to blood, Everything I try to wash away comes rising through the flood I turned water into blood, Should've turned it into wine, Now I'm staring at the miracle and wondering what the fuck is wrong with mine Blood sheds, turns to tears, Tears fall, turn to blood, Round and round the cycle goes, I can't tell where it begun [Verse 2] Aggravated aggression, got a temper full of static, Every little spark becomes a problem when I'm manic Not talking like a hero, I don't like the shit I've done, Being honest doesn't make the consequences undone Family shouldn't have to recognize me through the damage, Shouldn't have to learn my moods just to figure out what happens Shouldn't have to brace themselves whenever I get tense, Love shouldn't feel like waiting for another incident And I hate myself for knowing that they probably had to worry, For every fucked-up moment that I made them carry They don't deserve the version of me that rage creates, And I don't deserve forgiveness just because I can articulate That's why the sadness hits harder when the anger disappears, 'Cause underneath the aggression there was always fucking fear Then the tears come down, And for a second everything's clear... Till the tears become another river and the river turns red again. [Hook] Blood sheds, turns to tears, Tears fall, turn to blood, Everything I try to wash away comes rising through the flood I turned water into blood, Should've turned it into wine, Now I'm staring at the miracle and wondering what the fuck is wrong with mine Blood sheds, turns to tears, Tears fall, turn to blood, Round and round the cycle goes, I can't tell where it begun [Verse 3] Maybe that's my punishment, remembering every face, Every person that was there when I was losing my composure No halo over my head, no saint beneath the skin, Just a man who keeps discovering how ugly anger gets within They say Christ turned water into wine, I'm turning mine to blood, That's the joke I hear inside my head when I'm staring at the flood No miracle in the making, No sermon gonna save it, Just consequences sitting quietly beside the mess I created And I'm whining about the pain while my family had to see it, That's another ugly truth, I can't dress it up or delete it They shouldn't have had to watch, They shouldn't have had to know, But they saw too much already, and I can't unshow what they saw [Bridge - Quiet] Blood. Tears. Anger. Silence. Then blood again. How many times can the same cycle repeat before everybody gets tired of watching it? [Final Hook] Blood sheds, turns to tears, Tears fall, turn to blood, Family standing in the doorway, watching what I've fucking become I turned water into blood, Nothing holy in the sight, Just another night of anger turning everything inside Blood sheds, turns to tears, Tears fall, turn to blood, And the people that I love have seen more than they ever should [Outro - Whispered] I wish they remembered me before the blood. Before the anger. Before they had to learn what I look like when I lose myself. [Silence] Water into blood... What a fucking waste of a miracle.