The Beige Silk Pattern of My Ducky-Display

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(Verse 2)
Then the wind picked up, a bully's gusty shove
My hands became a cage, a desperate act of love
To guard the secret kept so plain and neat
The silk beige panties on my trembling seat
With little ducks on them, a childhood, foolish choice
I heard a giggle, or was it the wind's voice?
My mind raced faster than my feet could run
"Don't look up, don't make eye contact with anyone."
I pressed my palms down hard, a frantic, useless prayer
Against the rising, laughing, cruel and pulling air.

(Chorus)
And the world just spun, a dizzy, blurry carousel
A navy blue flag with a private story to tell
It flew right up, a surrender to the sky
No more denials, no more alibi
Just me, the grass, and a hundred staring eyes
And the beige silk pattern of my ducky-disguise
A hot, red wildfire burned across my face
In that wide-open, unforgiving space.

(Verse 3)
It tore right off, a scrap of navy thread
Dancing on the current, over my bowed head
And left me standing, paralyzed and bare
In nothing but my shame and my despair
A statue of embarrassment, I couldn't make a sound
My heart was the only thing still pounding on the ground
"Don't run, they'll look. Don't cry, they'll see."
A million variations of what they thought of me
That field felt miles wide, a journey just to bend
And hide the part of me I couldn't defend.

(Bridge)
A voice then cut through, soft and slightly shy
A boy named Ben just said, "I'll get it," with a sigh
He didn't smirk, he didn't stare, he just looked at my tears
And chased the tangled skirt that danced for all its years
The conflict raged—profound, eternal thanks
Mixed with the shame of being on the banks
Of my own disaster, needing a rescue crew
For a piece of cloth I thought I never knew I knew.

(Chorus)
And the world just spun, a dizzy, blurry carousel
That navy blue flag had a very public tale to tell
It flew right up, a surrender to the sky
No more denials, no the alibi
Just me, the grass, and the few who turned away
And the beige silk pattern of my ducky-display
A hot, red wildfire burned across my face
In that wide-open, unforgiving space.

(Verse 4)
I wear the skirt still, every single day
I feel the wind and I just let it play
I won't wear shorts beneath, I won't change what I chose
I let the memory linger right beneath my clothes
Sometimes I catch a breeze and give a knowing smile
At the scared, bare girl who stood there for a while
The ducks were silly, but the fear was truly me
Now I just tie my sweater closer round my knee
And let the wind blow wild, let the pleats fly free
It's just a skirt, and it's just me.
Just me.

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(Verse 1) The whistle blew on the athletic field A wide green sea beneath a sunlit shield Just finished laps, a moment to breathe free A sudden, gentle tug at my knee My pleated skirt, the navy blue and white Felt a phantom hand with all its might A ghost of a breath, a whispered hint of dread A memory flashed of something Mom had said… "Amelia, dear, on a blustery day…" But the thought was too late, it was blown away. (Verse 2) Then the wind picked up, a bully's gusty shove My hands became a cage, a desperate act of love To guard the secret kept so plain and neat The silk beige panties on my trembling seat With little ducks on them, a childhood, foolish choice I heard a giggle, or was it the wind's voice? My mind raced faster than my feet could run "Don't look up, don't make eye contact with anyone." I pressed my palms down hard, a frantic, useless prayer Against the rising, laughing, cruel and pulling air. (Chorus) And the world just spun, a dizzy, blurry carousel A navy blue flag with a private story to tell It flew right up, a surrender to the sky No more denials, no more alibi Just me, the grass, and a hundred staring eyes And the beige silk pattern of my ducky-disguise A hot, red wildfire burned across my face In that wide-open, unforgiving space. (Verse 3) It tore right off, a scrap of navy thread Dancing on the current, over my bowed head And left me standing, paralyzed and bare In nothing but my shame and my despair A statue of embarrassment, I couldn't make a sound My heart was the only thing still pounding on the ground "Don't run, they'll look. Don't cry, they'll see." A million variations of what they thought of me That field felt miles wide, a journey just to bend And hide the part of me I couldn't defend. (Bridge) A voice then cut through, soft and slightly shy A boy named Ben just said, "I'll get it," with a sigh He didn't smirk, he didn't stare, he just looked at my tears And chased the tangled skirt that danced for all its years The conflict raged—profound, eternal thanks Mixed with the shame of being on the banks Of my own disaster, needing a rescue crew For a piece of cloth I thought I never knew I knew. (Chorus) And the world just spun, a dizzy, blurry carousel That navy blue flag had a very public tale to tell It flew right up, a surrender to the sky No more denials, no the alibi Just me, the grass, and the few who turned away And the beige silk pattern of my ducky-display A hot, red wildfire burned across my face In that wide-open, unforgiving space. (Verse 4) I wear the skirt still, every single day I feel the wind and I just let it play I won't wear shorts beneath, I won't change what I chose I let the memory linger right beneath my clothes Sometimes I catch a breeze and give a knowing smile At the scared, bare girl who stood there for a while The ducks were silly, but the fear was truly me Now I just tie my sweater closer round my knee And let the wind blow wild, let the pleats fly free It's just a skirt, and it's just me. Just me. (Chorus) And the world just spun, a dizzy, blurry carousel A navy blue flag with a private story to tell It flew right up, a surrender to the sky No more denials, no more alibi Just me, the grass, and a hundred staring eyes And the beige silk pattern of my ducky-disguise A hot, red wildfire burned across my face In that wide-open, unforgiving space.

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