I Held It Until It Hurt [Country]

I don’t talk about it much I just carry it I been holdin it together with a quiet face Tellin everyone I’m good, yeah, that’s the safest place But the truth leak out when the night gets long When the house too still and my phone don’t buzz I gave everything with my guard down Watched it matter less the more I stayed around I didn’t need perfection, I needed effort Instead I learned how it feels to be an afterthought I replay what I gave like it was nothing Like my time, my care was just optional I showed up when it was heavy for you Now I sit with the weight alone, immobile I don’t scream I don’t beg I just feel it in my chest I held it until it hurt Until my pride got thin Until “I’m fine” became a lie I didn’t mean to live in I held it until it hurt Yeah, I stayed too long Not because I didn’t see the truth But because I hoped I was wrong I was there in the moments you won’t remember While you were surviving, I was surrenderin I made space for your pain, erased my own Now I’m learnin how empty that can feel at home You said my name like it meant somethin Then stepped back like it never did I wasn’t askin for a miracle Just consistency, not this Now I second guess my worth on quiet days Wonder if love always feels this way I don’t hate you, that’s the part that stings I just hate how small I let myself shrink I held it until it hurt Until my pride got thin Until “I’m fine” became a lie I didn’t mean to live in I held it until it hurt Yeah, I stayed too long Not because I didn’t see the truth But because I hoped I was wrong I wasn’t loud I was loyal And that cost me more than I admit I didn’t fall apart suddenly I faded one compromise at a time I don’t want pity I want honesty If you couldn’t choose me, say it clean Don’t keep me half alive on memories I gave my best without conditions That’s not weakness, that’s conviction That’s not weakness, that’s conviction But I won’t keep bleeding quiet Just so someone else feels whole I held it until it hurt Until I couldn’t pretend Until loving you felt like Arguin with myself again I held it until it hurt Now I’m lettin it show If this hits you deep, it’s because You’ve been here too, I know Santiago Flores I didn’t lose my mind I just stopped lying to myself I don’t talk about it much I just carry it