[Phone ringing] Thank you for calling Fantasy After Dark, where every lonely evening gets a little spark. For billing information, kindly press three. For mystery, romance, or emotional dependency, stay on the line for me. [Beep] I’m Viv. That isn’t my name. Tonight I’m a duchess, a nurse, or a dame. A spy from Berlin with a questionable past, provided your prepaid balance can last. [Ensemble] Stay on the line. Stay on the line. Your happiness is billed one minute at a time. I’ve got crackers in my left hand, a heating pad behind, a customer in Nevada who believes I read his mind. He says I’m unforgettable. I say, “Baby, you’re so sweet.” I’m checking his weather while I’m clipping both my feet. [Ensemble] Thank you for calling. Your fantasy is near. An operator will flatter you in the order you appear. Caller one wants Cleopatra. Caller two requests a ghost. Caller three says, “Just be honest. Do you like my truck the most?” Yes, your truck is very handsome. Yes, its headlights look sincere. No, I don’t believe your ex-wife understood its steering gear. [Call-waiting beep] Another call is coming. Another dream is due. Another grown man whispering, “I’ve never told anyone this.” [Spoken] And based on what you’re about to say, that was probably wise. My voice is warm as candlelight. My bra is held with tape. My charm has union aspirations. My spine has lost its shape. But the rent is due on Friday, and the meter just turned green. So thank you for calling Fantasy After Dark. [Headset click] Hi, gorgeous. What kind of woman would you like me to have been? [Ensemble] Stay on the line. Stay on the line. Your happiness is billed one minute at a time. [Receipt-printer chatter] Clock’s running.
