[Intro] "Guys... Production is down!" "...What happened?" "Sales called." (Beat) "Oh no..." [Verse 1] Monday morning. Coffee's cold. Inbox already Out of control. One small message. "Please investigate." Five minutes later... "It's CRITICAL!" Somebody writes, "The signal is broken!" Somebody else, "Escalate!" Nobody asks, "Did anyone check?" [Pre-Chorus] Forward. Reply all. CC. Reply all. Management loves A waterfall. [Chorus] WELCOME TO THE MEETING! Nobody knows. Everybody's talking. Nobody slows. Open the dashboard. Everything's green. Best emergency You've ever seen. [Verse 2] Engineer yawns. Clicks one graph. Looks at the numbers. Starts to laugh. "No packet loss." "No alarms." "No missing data." "No unknowns." "So... Who started this?" (Long pause) "Sales." [Bridge] One complaint. Thirty emails. Four managers. Zero failures. [Final Chorus] Don't blame the network. Don't blame the code. Don't blame the server. Don't blame the load. Before you panic... Before you shout... Check the facts... Then send it out. [Outro] "Incident closed." "...Already?" "Yeah. There wasn't one."
