Out of TikTok came a creature with a megaphone for teeth, Shoutin’ every slogan from the timeline underneath. Had a rainbow sign in one hand, the other held a vape, And a thousand hashtags flappin’ like a superhero cape. Chorus It’s a one-eyed, one-horned, flyin’ purple protest eater, Woke-eyed, doom-scrolled, Instagram repost repeater, Cry-laughed, rage-tapped, culture-jammed street theater— Sure looks online to me. Verse 2 He said “I don’t eat people, I consume their performativity, Diet’s intersectional, with extra relativity. Feed me contradictions, I’ll digest them into tweets, Serve ‘em back ironic, wrapped in radical beats.” Chorus It’s a one-eyed, one-horned, marchin’ purple cancel-leader, Tag-lined, sign-waved, Discord mod and trend seeder, Memed out, burnt out, livestream crowd-pleaser— Sure looks strange to me. Bridge (chant satire) “No justice, no peace— Swipe left, press release! All power to the meme— Monster’s in the stream!” Final Chorus (maximal mashup) It’s a one-eyed, one-horned, cryin’-typin’-chantin’-snappin’ Dancin’-prancin’-doomscroll-mashin’ Purple-haired, purple-aired, purple-everywhere protest eater— Sure looks strange to me.
