I Owe Myself - Eli Rowan | Soul Song About Self-Worth & Forgiveness

[Verse 1] I gave patience to strangers Second chances to friends Stayed on the phone through midnight Tried to help them make amends Gave forgiveness before asking If the wound had even closed Gave the benefit of the doubt Till I forgot what I was owed Not from them From me [Pre-Chorus] Funny how a man can spend his whole life Handing out what he needs [Chorus] I owe myself some mercy I owe myself some time I owe myself the patience I kept giving down the line I owe myself forgiveness For the years I didn’t know That loving everybody else Didn’t mean I had to let myself go I’ve paid so many people With pieces of my life I think I owe myself [Verse 2] I told everybody, “Take your time” Then rushed myself through pain Told them, “You’re allowed to change” Then punished every change I made Told them rest was not a weakness Told them grief would have its day Then looked into the mirror And said, “Come on, get over it” Like kindness was a language I only spoke away from home [Pre-Chorus] I knew every gentle word Just never thought to use my own [Chorus] I owe myself some mercy I owe myself some time I owe myself the patience I kept giving down the line I owe myself forgiveness For the years I didn’t know That loving everybody else Didn’t mean I had to let myself go I’ve paid so many people With pieces of my life I think I owe myself [Verse 3] Maybe I stayed too long sometimes Maybe I gave too much Maybe I called it loyalty When fear was underneath the love Maybe I knew better Long before I made the change But shame ain’t gonna heal a man For what he learned too late So I’m done collecting evidence Against the younger me He was trying to survive With what he knew how to believe [Bridge — stripped down] I owe that boy some tenderness For every time he stayed I owe that man some understanding For every choice he made I owe these tired hands some rest This heart a little room I owe myself the right to grow Without hating who I used to be [Pause] I gave grace away so freely Maybe I can keep some too [Final Chorus — warm gospel lift] I owe myself some mercy I owe myself some time I owe myself the patience I kept giving down the line I owe myself forgiveness And a life that feels like mine I can love the world around me Without leaving me behind I don’t need to earn compassion I don’t need to make a case I’ve been saving everybody else Maybe I can save a little grace for me [Outro — quiet piano and organ] I thought the debt was theirs Turns out some of it was mine. So I’m paying it back one kind day at a time.