Best Weapon Ever! The lines were quite long trying to get out of the store, BUT I managed to make it. I have this awesome weapon that I use in such situations. Just when the moment is right and everything seems to be clusterfucked and gridlocked, I whip it out. No, it’s not a Medusa Head with a Rocket Launcher, or a Flamethrower, or a MACHINE GUN BAT! It’s called PATIENCE! It’s like a reverse gun. Instead of using it on others, I point it at my own head and pull the trigger! Stupid fucking clerks! Blammo! Patience gun to my head! YEAH! PATIENCE is about the craziest weapon ever invented. Bitch with $400 in groceries cutting me off! Blammo! Patience gun to my head! Whoops! Reload! Sky Gremlins have entered the store… heads are getting sawed off… now they are coming for me!!! BLAMMO! PATIENCE GUN TO THE HEAD! FUCKS!!! After a hellacious battle driving home while trying to stay within the lines of a road with 100s of cars moving in the opposite direction of me JUST 20 FEET TO MY LEFT!!! I managed to pull into my driveway. Whew! Driving and living at the same time can be a real bitch. I went to open my trunk and then remembered that I had left my milk sitting on the roof of my car. Oh, the humanity… GOD DAMNIT, MY MILK DIED!
