Should Men Pay or Not? In this note, I intend to put an end to the eternal debate: “Should men pay or not on dates?” By the way, I’m in the “don’t pay” camp. I prefer splitting the bill. And I believe that not paying is more meaningful. Therefore, I will be imposing my biased interpretation on you all. Presented by ZAKURO, a self-proclaimed man who understands women’s hearts. This is not a moral argument. It’s more like an observation. Or maybe an excuse. I’m not entirely sure which. Why Shouldn’t You Pay? Let’s consider the psychology behind men paying. Mainly: • Paying makes you look cool • Women spend more time on makeup and fashion than men • Wanting to be kind • Wanting to be liked • “I invited her, so I should pay” • Social expectation I can understand all of these. I really can. But I keep noticing something underneath it all. A subtle desire to be seen as “above.” Not in a bad way. Not consciously. But still there. Maybe it’s instinct. Maybe it’s conditioning. Somewhere inside, there is a voice saying: “Follow me.” And I don’t like that voice. Or maybe I don’t trust it. So why don’t I pay? Because I want an equal relationship. At least that’s what I tell myself. Imagine what the woman thinks Let’s imagine what she thinks when she’s treated. “Yay, he paid.Nice guy.Lucky me.” Most reactions are not purely positive or negative. They are mixed. Slightly complicated. A small imbalance appears. And that imbalance slowly accumulates. A lunch becomes a memory about payment. A dinner becomes a feeling of debt. A date becomes a quiet calculation. Maybe what people want is not generosity. Maybe they want lightness. Something that doesn’t leave a trace. Something equal enough to disappear afterward. That’s what I think. Or maybe I just don’t want to be misunderstood. The Benefits of Not Treating People often assume paying is always an advantage. But I’m not convinced. If you always pay, you start to define the relationship with money first. Everything else becomes secondary. And once that structure is set, it’s hard to escape. You become “the guy who pays.” Not “the guy,” but “the wallet.” And I don’t want that role. Some people might say: “Then just choose who you pay for.” But that also feels wrong. Selective value judgment based on attraction or convenience. That’s not equality either. So I choose consistency. Splitting the bill. Flat. Neutral. Unromantic, maybe. But honest. Because if someone likes me, I want them to like me without accounting. Not because I paid. Not because I didn’t. Just… because I was there. And if I’m always paying, I might lose the small moments that matter. A surprise coffee. A small gift. A gesture that isn’t expected. Those things become less meaningful if generosity is already the default. Balance disappears. Or maybe I’m just rationalizing my own discomfort. Okay, I’ll proofread it now. You don’t need such a long explanation from here to here. One word explains everything. i'm poor
