I had myself a little dinner Thought I'd add a little heat Just a dab of ghost pepper sauce To make the whole thing complete My tongue immediately informed me I'd committed quite a crime But eventually the fire faded And I figured I'd be fine But several hours later At the final checkpoint gate I received a second message From the dinner that I ate Does my sphincter have taste buds? There's a question I must know 'Cause my tongue quit tasting dinner Several hours ago If there's nothing there for flavor And no palate down below Then how does that little ring of muscle Know I ate a ghost pepper though? Now jalapeños get a notice Habaneros raise alarm Cayenne gets acknowledged With a modest sense of harm But a Carolina Reaper Gets identified on sight By an organ I've been told Cannot distinguish wrong from right It seems remarkably specific For a simple exit door If it cannot taste my supper What's it keeping records for? Does my sphincter have taste buds? Can it tell what's passing through? Does it recognize the difference Between a one and ten-point-two? If it has no sense of flavor Then I'd really like to know Why mild salsa passes quietly But ghost peppers steal the show So I opened up the textbooks For responsible research Surely medical professionals Could end my foolish search There are receptors called TRPV1 That register the heat Capsaicin simply triggers them At either end we meet So technically it isn't tasting There are no taste buds involved It's a heat-and-pain sensation And the mystery is solved ...Is it? If it knows exactly when it's spicy If it knows exactly when it's hot If it recognizes ghost pepper With every receptor that it's got You can call it nociception You can diagram the trait But that sounds an awful lot like tasting With some extra steps to me, mate Does my sphincter have taste buds? Science firmly tells me no There is absolutely no such palate At the exit down below It's receptors sensing capsaicin That's the proper way to phrase But for something that can't taste my dinner It has VERY strong reviews these days “So, scientifically, the answer is no.” “Still seems awfully opinionated for something without taste buds.”
