[Intro: Psychobilly-howling male MC, slapping upright bass alone in the first bar, then the band] A-woo, daddy-o, sign it [Verse 1: Psychobilly-howling male MC, wild and grinning over slapping upright bass and galloping snare] Half price for a house on the top of Creel Hill Realtor said it's haunted, so I said then knock it off the bill Seven rooms of rattle and a cellar full of moan Last three owners ran, but I ain't them, and now it's home First night, chains are clankin' up and down the hall So I picked 'em off the floor and locked my bike against the wall Second night, the faucet's runnin' red into the sink Daddy-o, that's iron, and I poured myself a drink Third night, a lady in a nightgown floatin' by the bed Asked her where the thermostat was, and she shook her head Fourth night, GET OUT written in the steam on the glass Wrote RENT'S DUE right underneath it, and I left it with a laugh [Hook: Psychobilly howler, handclaps and slap bass on every line] Bang it on the rafters, hang it off the post Holler down the stairwell, I'ma holler back the most Every haunt in Creel Hill tryin' to run away the host Spend a month with me, and you'll give up the ghost [Verse 2: Psychobilly howler, faster, hot-rod twang guitar stabbing the gaps] So the haunts held a meetin' in the attic after three Every one of 'em complainin', and the subject was me He plays records way too loud, he's fryin' onions at the dawn He sleeps right through the screamin' with the television on He hung his drawers on me to dry, said the sheet up on the stair He ate the cake we left out for the dead, said Missus Blair He hollers louder than we do, said the skeleton, a-woo And he borrowed all my bones to make a wind chime, and it's true Then the baby in the closet said he scares me half to death And the room went real quiet, 'cause he ain't got any breath So they took a vote, unanimous, the skeleton kept score We're movin' out by Halloween, we can't take any more [Verse 3: Psychobilly howler, howl-off with the house, the house howls back weaker each time] Halloween at midnight, they come down the stairs in pairs Coffins on a dolly and a cat without no hairs Last one at the door, he turns and gives a howl, a-woo So I howl right back at him, and he howls a little too I howl again, he answers, but it's thinner, like a cough One more from me, and nothin', and the porch light flickers off Now the kids skip my porch, and the paper calls it cursed Every dog on Creel Hill walks the long way, and it's worse Daddy-o, the house is haunted, haunted as can be Paid half price for the place, and now the haunt is me [Final Hook: Psychobilly howler, everything at once, handclaps doubled] Bang it on the rafters, hang it off the post Holler down the stairwell, I'ma holler back the most Every haunt in Creel Hill tryin' to run away the host Spend a month with me, and you'll give up the ghost [End]
