[Verse 1] Woke up this morning, credit card cried a gain My little prince wants salmon filet, straight from Spain Turns his nose up at kibble like it’s peasent fare One sniff, he’s offended, gives that “how dare you” glare He’s got a wardrobe bigger than mine — leather, silk, and lace Rain boots and a raincoat with a little matching cape I’m still in hand-me-downs from 2019 While he’s strutting in designer drip that cost a month of gasoline [Pre-Chorus] He’s got that look in his eye, tail starts to wag Whole house knows it’s about to go down, no turning back I try to resist but I’m already done Here comes the attitude… here comes the fun… [Chorus] Diva dog! Diva dog! My four-legged king Ruling this house like it’s a Hollywood scene Designer bling, monogrammed leash of gold Couch steps ready ‘cause he won’t jump, no sir, no fold He ghosts me for days, then screams for belly rubs This spoiled little tyrant’s got me wrapped in his love Lord help me, I’m broke and I’m owned By my tiny diva dog who stole the whole throne! [Verse 2] Louis Vuitton collar, Gucci-print lead While I’m rocking Walmart sneakers with a hole where my big toe peeks Outfits for every season — hoodies, jerseys, the works He side-eyes my plain T-shirt like “Daddy, you look like a jerk” Bedtime’s a production with his little wooden stairs One wrong move and he hits me with those dramatic dog stares Couch is his kingdom, best cushion claimed with grace I sit on the edge like a peasant, taking up minimal space [Pre-Chorus] He’s got that look in his eye, tail starts to wag Whole house knows it’s about to go down, no turning back I try to resist but I’m already done Here comes the attitude… here comes the fun… [Chorus] Diva dog! Diva dog! My four-legged king Ruling this house like it’s a Hollywood scene Designer bling, monogrammed leash of gold Couch steps ready ‘cause he won’t jump, no sir, no fold He ghosts me for days, then screams for belly rubs This spoiled little tyrant’s got me wrapped in his love Lord help me, I’m broke and I’m owned By my tiny diva dog who stole the whole throne! [Bridge] Treats must be organic, toys must be plush God forbid I sit in his spot on the couch But when he curls up beside me and sighs real sweet I forget every dollar I spent on those fancy little feet [Final Chorus] (bigger, with harmony) Diva dog! Diva dog! My glamorous Rex Spending every dollar just meeting his specs I’ll keep buying the clothes and the food he demands ‘Cause this spoiled little prince is the best of my plans Yeah, I’m broke… but I’m loved… by my diva dog! (Fade out with soft barks and laughter)
