Got eighty-five thousand reasons not to

[Verse 1] Got eighty-five thousand reasons not to sleep at night Loan collectors on speed dial, motivation's out of sight Impulse control's gone rogue, can't focus worth a damn If chaos were currency, I’d hear that vault door slam Growing up packing bags, every home was just a stage Learned to never settle, always flipping the page Attachments came with warning signs, red 'em too late sabotage love 'cause unstable feels safe [Pre-Chorus] Thought I was just ordinary, just another lonely kid Isolation undercover, kept my feelings hid Bureaucratic playground, Ward of the State Fantasies kicked in, I learned to escape. [Chorus] Maybe I’m a spy with a special mission Dodging intimacy, that's my secret condition Psych tests in the city, feeling official If I'm not special, guess I'm sacrificial Spirit's just a question mark, answers unclear Guidance on standby, steering from the rear If I can join the status quo, you can too Here’s your badge, here’s your brand, welcome to the crew. [Verse 2] Relationships fractured, built to self-destruct Survival over love, never learned to trust Scene to scene, I replay the blur, My past like filmstock, spliced and unsure. Intellectuals in suits appraising my worth, Delinquent on paper, special agent by birth Fantasy became armor, a mask I could wear Spyglass reality, mission unclear [Pre-Chorus] Testing in the city, professors taking notes Treated me like VIP, fed my ego quotes Maybe I'm unstable, or maybe I'm elite Walking contradictions down every single street [Chorus] Maybe I’m a spy with a special mission Dodging intimacy, that's my secret condition Psych tests in the city, feeling official If I'm not special, guess I'm sacrificial Spirit's just a question mark, answers unclear Guidance on standby, steering from the rear If I can join the status quo, you can too Here’s your badge, here’s your brand, welcome to the crew. [Bridge] So here's to introspection and fantasies so wild Find comfort in the chaos, bureaucratic child No advice or miracles, no truth that’s precise, Just me and my questions, rolling the dice. [Chorus] Maybe I’m a spy with a special mission Dodging intimacy, that's my secret condition Psych tests in the city, feeling official If I'm not special, guess I'm sacrificial Spirit's just a question mark, answers unclear guidance on standby, steering from the rear If I can join the status quo, you can too Here’s your badge, here’s your brand, welcome to the crew.