I don't like to talk about shit

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[Intro – Spoken over ambient flush and finger snaps]  
I don’t like talkin’ about shit.  
Especially in front of people.  
But sometimes…  
You gotta deal with people  
Just to take a shit.

[Verse 1 – Beat drops with receipt printer hi-hats]  
Sent Roy for TP,  
He came back with betrayal.  
Scott’s brand—  
Four times the roll,  
Four times the fail.

You pay more to get less,  
Dollar General, Family Dollar,  
Dollar Tree—  
Where the hell are the dollar items?

Every time I leave,  
I spend dollars.  
Got me wantin’ to rob these mothers,  
But I’m scared of crumbs.

Crumbs.  
DNA crumbs.  
From the butt trail  
Scott left behind.

[Hook – Toilet flush snares kick in]  
Great Scott!  
I’m leavin’ trails like Reese’s Pieces.  
Freeballin’ to the store,  
Flip flops, shorts, tee—  
No defense.

They rang up my bill,  
Had me ready to kill.  
But I didn’t move.  
I just stood there,  
Wits end, no end in sight.

[Verse 2 – Finger snaps echo like footsteps]  
Slim Jim in the cashier’s back,  
“Give me cash back.”  
Grabbed my snacks,  
Dashed out—Scott free.

Till the raid.  
Police on my ass in seconds,  
DNA on the buttcrumbs.  
Precinct strip search,  
Roll falls out.

Deputy shouts:  
“Great Scott!”  
Like I rolled out the carpet  
For the King of Scotland  
On a handball court.

[Bridge – Spoken Word over ambient flush loop]  
Flashbacks.  
Standing in line.  
Back of my mind:  
“Get behind me, Satan.”

Scotty, beam me up.  
This time,  
I ain’t wiping down.  
I’m writing down.

[Hook – Repeat with layered snaps and printer ticks]  
Great Scott!  
I’m leavin’ trails like Reese’s Pieces.  
Freeballin’ to the store,  
Flip flops, shorts, tee—  
No defense.

They rang up my bill,  
Had me ready to kill.  
But I didn’t move.  
I just stood there,  
Wits end, no end in sight.

[Outro – Spoken over fading flush and receipt hum]  
A butt crumb on the floor  
Led me to you.  
And whatever that was I just typed—  
That’s Felonious.  
That’s gospel.  
That’s TP testimony.

2000/7500

[Intro – Spoken over ambient flush and finger snaps] I don’t like talkin’ about shit. Especially in front of people. But sometimes… You gotta deal with people Just to take a shit. [Verse 1 – Beat drops with receipt printer hi-hats] Sent Roy for TP, He came back with betrayal. Scott’s brand— Four times the roll, Four times the fail. You pay more to get less, Dollar General, Family Dollar, Dollar Tree— Where the hell are the dollar items? Every time I leave, I spend dollars. Got me wantin’ to rob these mothers, But I’m scared of crumbs. Crumbs. DNA crumbs. From the butt trail Scott left behind. [Hook – Toilet flush snares kick in] Great Scott! I’m leavin’ trails like Reese’s Pieces. Freeballin’ to the store, Flip flops, shorts, tee— No defense. They rang up my bill, Had me ready to kill. But I didn’t move. I just stood there, Wits end, no end in sight. [Verse 2 – Finger snaps echo like footsteps] Slim Jim in the cashier’s back, “Give me cash back.” Grabbed my snacks, Dashed out—Scott free. Till the raid. Police on my ass in seconds, DNA on the buttcrumbs. Precinct strip search, Roll falls out. Deputy shouts: “Great Scott!” Like I rolled out the carpet For the King of Scotland On a handball court. [Bridge – Spoken Word over ambient flush loop] Flashbacks. Standing in line. Back of my mind: “Get behind me, Satan.” Scotty, beam me up. This time, I ain’t wiping down. I’m writing down. [Hook – Repeat with layered snaps and printer ticks] Great Scott! I’m leavin’ trails like Reese’s Pieces. Freeballin’ to the store, Flip flops, shorts, tee— No defense. They rang up my bill, Had me ready to kill. But I didn’t move. I just stood there, Wits end, no end in sight. [Outro – Spoken over fading flush and receipt hum] A butt crumb on the floor Led me to you. And whatever that was I just typed— That’s Felonious. That’s gospel. That’s TP testimony.

0/500