[Intro] (spoken, laid-back country drawl) Yeah, Memorial Day… and I’m the only sober one here… [Verse 1] My buddies rolled up with coolers packed with beer Uncle Bob already slurring ’bout his glory years Aunt Karen slingin’ margaritas by the pool Cousin Kyle doing keg stands, acting like a fool I brought my big ol’ Yeti full of sweet tea, extra ice They staring at me crazy like I rolled the dice Country radio blasting, speakers way too loud I’m just tryna flip these burgers, not burn ’em to the ground [Pre-Chorus] One more burger flip, one more “why you not drinking?” stare I’m staying crystal clear while the madness fills the air [Chorus] Now I’m tipsy… tipsy on iced tea Watching all my people lose it oh so respectfully Flags are waving, burgers blazing, fireworks in the sky Designated driver, y’all can barely wave goodbye Tipsy… on this iced tea Memorial Day cookout looking like a tragedy But I’m sober as a judge, laughing at the scene A cookout song, yeah I’m tipsy on iced tea [Verse 2] Dog just stole the hot dogs, Grandma’s doing the whip Neighbor’s drone went rogue and did a barrel roll flip Somebody’s playing cornhole with a beer in each hand Face-planted in the potato salad — that’s the brand They yelling “Live a little!” like I’m ruining the fun I say “I’m good with my tea, I’ll be the chosen one” When the fireworks start popping and the cops roll past Guess who’s driving everybody home safe at last? [Bridge] (half-time, chill & humorous) Grill’s still smoking… somebody snoring in the rose bush… I’m just refilling my tumbler, no regrets in the morning… [Chorus] (bigger, full harmony stack) Now I’m tipsy… tipsy on iced tea Best seat in the house watching pure degeneracy Patriotic, chaotic, little bit of BBQ glory I’ll be the hero tomorrow telling the whole damn story Tipsy… on this iced tea Memorial Day legend in the sober hall of fame, G Yeah I’m chillin’ with my tea, laughing at the scene A cookout song, yeah I’m tipsy on iced tea [Outro] (fading with laughs, clinking ice, distant fireworks) Sweet tea gang… we out here… responsibly…
