Halloween at the Homestead

(Verse 1) Way out where the blacktop turns to gravel and stone, Got an off-grid cabin where the wild pines have grown. No Wi-Fi, no signal, no telephone line, Just kerosene lanterns and homemade shine. Cornfield’s creakin’ when the cold wind moans, Something’s out there movin’ where nobody goes. Generator’s coughin’ like it’s almost dead, And that scarecrow winked as I climbed into bed. (Pre-Chorus) I said, “Probably the moonshine… probably the fog…” Then I heard boots dancin’ on the roof with the dogs. (Chorus) It’s Halloween at the Homestead, Pumpkin glowin’ bloody orange-red. Somethin’ tappin’ at the windowpane, Laughin’ in the thunder and the pourin’ rain. Bigfoot’s snoopin’ through the tool shed, Scarecrow singin’ like the living dead, Werewolf cryin’, “Y’all leave on the light!” It's Halloween at the Homestead tonight! (Verse 2) That scarecrow climbed down from his cedarwood plight, Shook out the straw and two-stepped in the moonlight. Tipped his hat and said, “Man, this is divine— Been stuck in that field since nineteen ninety-nine.” He asked about chili, asked about pie, Then his left eyeball rolled to the side. (Pre-Chorus) I nearly died clutchin’ my cast-iron pan, But he fixed the porch swing with one bony hand. (Chorus) It’s Halloween at the Homestead, Moonshine bubbles underneath the bed. Corn stalks swayin’ like a ghost parade, Coyotes howlin’ in the lantern shade. Bigfoot peekin’ through the smokehouse door, Trackin’ mud across the whole dang floor, Werewolf whimperin’ every time owls hoot, Tryin’ to hide behind my winter boots! (Bridge) Bigfoot ain’t scary, just socially shy— Sixteen feet tall with a curious eye. Stole some jerky, wiped his feet real neat, Then snorted sweet tea when the scarecrow chose to speak. But that werewolf’s a nervous wreck, Scared of his own shadow and a pain in the neck. Jumped through the ceiling when the kettle screamed, Cried, “I miss my mama!” in a high-pitched keen. (Breakdown Banjo and washboard) Banjo solo! Thunder crash! Somethin’ screamin’ in the pumpkin patch! (Verse 3) By midnight we were playin’ cards with the dead, Scarecrow cheatin’, Bigfoot carvin’ apple doll heads. Moon hit that werewolf and he lost his mind, Locked himself in the cellar, cryin’ about black cats this time. (Final Chorus) It’s Halloween at the Homestead, Every cryptid bumpin’ overhead. Bonfire sparkin’ underneath the stars, Hayride ghosts ridin’ rusty cars. Bigfoot finally joined the jamboree, Slappin’ washboard perfect as can be… While that werewolf fainted dead from fright It's Halloween at the Homestead tonight! (Outro) So if you wander where the tall corn grows, And see lantern light flickerin’ low, You might hear laughter in the autumn breeze… And a scarecrow yellin’, “Save some pie for me!”