[Verse 1] I told her I could fix that screen door, Had one hinge and a screwdriver. Two hours later, both were on the floor, And the door was opening wider. [Verse 2] I said I’d learn to cook a proper meal, Bought a cookbook, wore a grin. Now the smoke alarm can tell you how I feel, And the cat won’t come back in. [Chorus] I think I can, I think I can, I’m a one-man marching band. But she says she knows I can’t— Then she hands me one more chance. I think I can, I think I can, With a paper map and rubber band; I may not stick the landing, but I’ll make a fine attempt. [Verse 3] I tried to hang a picture straight and true, Measured once and drilled in haste. Now the family portrait’s got a view Of the ceiling and the paste. [Verse 4] I promised I’d be early for the show, Left with plenty time to spare. Then I stopped to ask a dog for where-to-go, And got directions to a chair. [Chorus] I think I can, I think I can, I’m a one-man marching band. But she says she knows I can’t— Then she hands me one more chance. I think I can, I think I can, With a paper map and rubber band; I may not stick the landing, but I’ll make a fine attempt. [Verse 5] She said, “Can you keep a secret?” I said, “Sure,” Then I told the garden gnome. He’s been tight-lipped ever since, I’m sure— That little fellow knows to keep it home. [Verse 6] I took up jogging round the county fair, Made it halfway past the pie. The finish line was waving from a folding chair; I waved back and let it fly. [Bridge] She’s got a list as long as Sunday, I’ve got plans that fit a matchbook page. She says, “You’ll never do it my way.” I say, “Good—let’s turn the page.” [Verse 7] I tried to write her one romantic line, Something smooth and sweet and grand. It came out, “You’re the reason that I’m fine— And the reason I can’t find my left-hand glove again.” [Outro] I think I can, I think I can, I’ll keep on trying while I can. She says she knows I can’t—well, maybe so; But she still saves me the last biscuit, though. I think I can, I think I can, That’s my whole magnificent plan. Ten little turns, one stubborn man— And she just smiles, “I know you can’t.” [instrumental] she just smiles, “I know you can’t.” [fade to end] “I know you can’t.” [end]
