my last hundred songs sucked

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[PRE-CHORUS — shifting to single time]
Started with some klezmer,
yeah I thought that was the move
a clarinet, a fiddle and
a gangster in a groove
Biggie Smalls at a bar mitzvah
spitting on the bimah
"Mazel tov, now run your pockets"
nobody's gonna stream that, neither

[CHORUS — DOUBLE TIME, unhinged energy]
My last hundred songs sucked, every single solitary one of 'em
I pumped 'em out like sausages and wondered why nobody wanted 'em
A hyperpop disaster and I made thirty-one versions of it
kept exactly one of them and honestly I'm nervous 'bout it
Klezmer rap and blackened waltz and cello-piano duets
I'm out here writing tragedies like Shakespeare with no budget left
I stole some other people's prompts and mine came out like leftovers
I'm Suno's worst creator and I need this to be over

[VERSE 2 — TRIPLE TIME]
tried-a-lo-fi-bedroom-pop-adjacent-dream-pop-sadcore-anthem-meets-hypnagogic-drone
made-it-sound-like-someone's-Roomba-had-a-breakdown-and-recorded-it-alone
wrote-a-song-about-my-feelings-and-the-feelings-were-specifically
that-all-my-songs-were-bad-which-is-a-lyric-that-recursively
describes-the-very-song-that-I-was-making-at-the-time
which-was-also-bad-and-made-it-into-this-song-and-that-song-also-sounds-like-slime

[HALF TIME DROP — solemn, like a eulogy]
I made a neo-soul track
in the style of D'Angelo
Suno gave me something closer
to a stranger at a piano
in a hotel bar
who learned to play
last week

[BRIDGE — single time]
I copied someone's style prompt — verbatim, every syllable —
their song was crystalline and mine was criminal and pitiful
I tried a blackened waltz, which is a genre that was fictional
until I made it real and real is synonymous with miserable
I wrote a cello and a piano, very artistic
then I listened back and both of them sounded asthmatic
I made a drill track, a hyperpop, a flamenco fusion
a smooth jazz interlude that caused genuine confusion
an ambient piece for sleeping — three hours, no percussion —
I listened to it twice and filed for mental health discussion

[VERSE 3 — DOUBLE TIME into TRIPLE TIME, spiraling]
The klezmer-gangster collab had a clarinet going wah wah wah
over 808s and hi-hats while a voice said oy vey and blah blah blah
I tried to make it threatening but it came out like a wedding where
the rabbi and the DJ had a beef about the seating there
I made a country song with autotune, a folk song with a drop,
a breakcore lullaby for children, nobody could make it stop
an R&B slow jam that had the texture of a dial tone
a cottagecore acoustic track that should have stayed inside the cottage, bro

(shift to TRIPLE TIME)
made-a-synth-wave-bossa-nova-that-was-neither-synth-nor-wave-nor-bossa-and-I-don't-know-what-went-wrong
tried-a-Gregorian-chant-but-AutoTune-made-the-monks-sound-like-they-inhaled-a-gong
wrote-a-protest-song-with-nothing-to-protest-so-I-protested-my-own-song
then-I-wrote-a-song-protesting-that-one-too-and-now-I've-got-a-trilogy-that's-wrong
made-a-surf-rock-banger-in-December-landlocked-never-seen-a-wave
tried-a-Viking-sea-shanty-but-the-oars-were-out-of-time-and-so-were-the-brave
did-a-phonk-remix-of-a-lullaby-my-grandmother-sang-to-me
she-has-not-forgiven-me-and-honestly-I-have-to-let-that-be
made-a-jazz-fusion-odyssey-in-seven-eight-with-a-key-change-every-bar
Suno-rendered-it-as-someone-learning-trumpet-in-a-parked-car
tried-a-shoegaze-epic-forty-minutes-long-about-a-Tuesday
came-out-sounding-like-a-dial-up-modem-having-a-birthday
wrote-a-hyperpop-trap-gospel-choir-stadium-anthem-for-the-ages
sat-back-and-listened-and-immediately-entered-all-five-stages

(back to DOUBLE TIME)
Tried to do a cinematic orchestral swell
hired an AI conductor, AI strings, AI hell
the violins came in a quarter beat too late
I submitted it to Sundance and they blocked my email straight
Made a reggaeton cumbia with a jazz trumpet solo
Shakira met Coltrane and they both said "nolo"
I wrote a sea shanty about depression on a Tuesday
the sailors wouldn't heave-ho, they just sat there and said "who asked?"
made-a-bossa-nova-breakup-song-but-I-had-nobody-to-break-up-with-so-I-broke-up-with-Suno

[FINAL CHORUS]
My last hundred songs sucked
My last hundred songs sucked
My last hundred songs sucked 
(Tripled every single one of them was bad.)

...my last hundred songs
...sucked

[OUTRO — spoken word, very tired]
Song one hundred and one.
This one's different.
This one's the one.
(it's not the one)

4696/7500

[VERSE 1 — half time, slow and deliberate] Let me tell you 'bout a tragedy a catalogue catastrophe I sat in my pajamas with a laptop and a fantasy I said this time I'll make a banger this time it'll actually slap a hundred songs and a hundred failures later dawg I want my hours back [PRE-CHORUS — shifting to single time] Started with some klezmer, yeah I thought that was the move a clarinet, a fiddle and a gangster in a groove Biggie Smalls at a bar mitzvah spitting on the bimah "Mazel tov, now run your pockets" nobody's gonna stream that, neither [CHORUS — DOUBLE TIME, unhinged energy] My last hundred songs sucked, every single solitary one of 'em I pumped 'em out like sausages and wondered why nobody wanted 'em A hyperpop disaster and I made thirty-one versions of it kept exactly one of them and honestly I'm nervous 'bout it Klezmer rap and blackened waltz and cello-piano duets I'm out here writing tragedies like Shakespeare with no budget left I stole some other people's prompts and mine came out like leftovers I'm Suno's worst creator and I need this to be over [VERSE 2 — TRIPLE TIME] tried-a-lo-fi-bedroom-pop-adjacent-dream-pop-sadcore-anthem-meets-hypnagogic-drone made-it-sound-like-someone's-Roomba-had-a-breakdown-and-recorded-it-alone wrote-a-song-about-my-feelings-and-the-feelings-were-specifically that-all-my-songs-were-bad-which-is-a-lyric-that-recursively describes-the-very-song-that-I-was-making-at-the-time which-was-also-bad-and-made-it-into-this-song-and-that-song-also-sounds-like-slime [HALF TIME DROP — solemn, like a eulogy] I made a neo-soul track in the style of D'Angelo Suno gave me something closer to a stranger at a piano in a hotel bar who learned to play last week [BRIDGE — single time] I copied someone's style prompt — verbatim, every syllable — their song was crystalline and mine was criminal and pitiful I tried a blackened waltz, which is a genre that was fictional until I made it real and real is synonymous with miserable I wrote a cello and a piano, very artistic then I listened back and both of them sounded asthmatic I made a drill track, a hyperpop, a flamenco fusion a smooth jazz interlude that caused genuine confusion an ambient piece for sleeping — three hours, no percussion — I listened to it twice and filed for mental health discussion [VERSE 3 — DOUBLE TIME into TRIPLE TIME, spiraling] The klezmer-gangster collab had a clarinet going wah wah wah over 808s and hi-hats while a voice said oy vey and blah blah blah I tried to make it threatening but it came out like a wedding where the rabbi and the DJ had a beef about the seating there I made a country song with autotune, a folk song with a drop, a breakcore lullaby for children, nobody could make it stop an R&B slow jam that had the texture of a dial tone a cottagecore acoustic track that should have stayed inside the cottage, bro (shift to TRIPLE TIME) made-a-synth-wave-bossa-nova-that-was-neither-synth-nor-wave-nor-bossa-and-I-don't-know-what-went-wrong tried-a-Gregorian-chant-but-AutoTune-made-the-monks-sound-like-they-inhaled-a-gong wrote-a-protest-song-with-nothing-to-protest-so-I-protested-my-own-song then-I-wrote-a-song-protesting-that-one-too-and-now-I've-got-a-trilogy-that's-wrong made-a-surf-rock-banger-in-December-landlocked-never-seen-a-wave tried-a-Viking-sea-shanty-but-the-oars-were-out-of-time-and-so-were-the-brave did-a-phonk-remix-of-a-lullaby-my-grandmother-sang-to-me she-has-not-forgiven-me-and-honestly-I-have-to-let-that-be made-a-jazz-fusion-odyssey-in-seven-eight-with-a-key-change-every-bar Suno-rendered-it-as-someone-learning-trumpet-in-a-parked-car tried-a-shoegaze-epic-forty-minutes-long-about-a-Tuesday came-out-sounding-like-a-dial-up-modem-having-a-birthday wrote-a-hyperpop-trap-gospel-choir-stadium-anthem-for-the-ages sat-back-and-listened-and-immediately-entered-all-five-stages (back to DOUBLE TIME) Tried to do a cinematic orchestral swell hired an AI conductor, AI strings, AI hell the violins came in a quarter beat too late I submitted it to Sundance and they blocked my email straight Made a reggaeton cumbia with a jazz trumpet solo Shakira met Coltrane and they both said "nolo" I wrote a sea shanty about depression on a Tuesday the sailors wouldn't heave-ho, they just sat there and said "who asked?" made-a-bossa-nova-breakup-song-but-I-had-nobody-to-break-up-with-so-I-broke-up-with-Suno [FINAL CHORUS] My last hundred songs sucked My last hundred songs sucked My last hundred songs sucked (Tripled every single one of them was bad.) ...my last hundred songs ...sucked [OUTRO — spoken word, very tired] Song one hundred and one. This one's different. This one's the one. (it's not the one)

0/500