[Verse 1: Cowpunk male lead, pounding punk drums, hollered cowpunk vocal] Big Dale went on a Tuesday with a cooler at his feet Lawyer read the paper at the honky-tonk on Main Street Said, "No hymns, no slow songs, no sitting in a row Open bar till sunup, and somebody throw a blow" Everybody laughed except the ones who knew him best Dale never left a party with a button on his vest Never left a wedding without a ruckus at the door Never left a funeral, now he's asking us for more So we pushed the tables back and the band cut loose And I'm the one who found him and I ain't said it out loud [Hook: Cowpunk male lead, full band flat out, hollered cowpunk hook] Raise hell for Big Dale, 'cause he don't want a hymn Kick the tables over, it's the last thing we can give him Pour another round, put your knuckles in the air Raise hell, y'all, or he'll come back for his chair [Verse 2: Cowpunk male lead, twangy fast guitars, hollered cowpunk vocal] But the room got manners and the room got pie Cousin Earl's in a tie and he won't look me in the eye So I bumped him at the bar and I spilled his beer He said, "Sorry, buddy," like a choirboy here Tried the bouncer, tried the trucker, tried the tall one from the mill Everybody hugging me and nobody holding still And I'm standing in the middle with my fists up high Swinging at the jukebox with a mess in my eye 'Cause the last thing he asked was a fight and a song And I can't even give him that, the whole night going wrong [Hook: Cowpunk male lead, full band flat out, hollered cowpunk hook] Raise hell for Big Dale, 'cause he don't want a hymn Kick the tables over, it's the last thing we can give him Pour another round, put your knuckles in the air Raise hell, y'all, or he'll come back for his chair [Breakdown: Cowpunk male lead, chair smash, a wooden chair smashes on the downbeat, the band slams back in flat out] Then the reverend stood up from the corner by the door Took his collar off and put it on the floor Said, "Dale paid for a fight, son, and a will is a will" And he laid me out flat with a right like a drill Chair went to splinters and the whole place roared And I laughed on the boards till my ribs got sore [Final Hook: Cowpunk male lead, full band flat out, loudest hollered cowpunk hook] Raise hell for Big Dale, 'cause he don't want a hymn Kick the tables over, it's the last thing we can give him Pour another round, put your knuckles in the air Raise hell, y'all, or he'll come back for his chair [Outro: Cowpunk male lead, band crashing to a stop, hollered toast] Here's to Dale, y'all, the meanest man we knew Got his fight and got his song, and I finally cried too [End]
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