I’m standing here, I’m running scared, I’m everywhere but getting nowhere. I wanna see the world tonight, Then pull the covers over my head. I need somebody to turn down All the noise that never ends. Should I leave or should I stay? Every road feels wrong somehow. I’ve whispered prayers through shaking hands, Just begging God to hear me now. I can laugh, I can break, Wear a smile nobody sees through. And I still wonder why my father Never learned to love me like fathers do. I say I’m trying, trying, trying, But I’ve gotten good at lying. I feel everything at once, Then I don’t feel anything at all. I’m standing here, I’m running scared, I’m everywhere but getting nowhere. Can somebody quiet the thunder in my head? I’m holding on by one last thread. I’m happy, I’m hurting, I’m steady, then I fall. How can one heart feel everything And nothing at all? I’m reaching out from somewhere In the middle of nowhere. I’ve tried to drown it in a bottle, Tried to lose it in the smoke. But every time the room gets quiet, I can hear the things I broke. So please don’t leave me here alone. Sit beside me through the night. I don’t need you to repair me, I just need help surviving the fight. I worry myself breathless, Wonder why I’m not like the rest. Every careless word they gave me Still comes cutting through my chest. My thoughts keep running circles Faster than my feet could ever go. I’m tired of saying I’m okay When everybody knows. I say I’m trying, trying, trying, But tonight I’m done with lying. I feel everything at once, And I’m finally letting someone know. I’m standing here, I’m running scared, I’m everywhere but getting nowhere. Can somebody quiet the thunder in my head? I’m holding on by one last thread. I’m happy, I’m hurting, I’m steady, then I fall. How can one heart feel everything And nothing at all? I’m reaching out from somewhere In the middle of nowhere. Maybe I’m not lazy. Maybe I’m just tired From carrying a war inside me And calling it a life. Maybe asking someone for help Doesn’t mean I’ve lost the fight. Maybe saying, “Please don’t leave me,” Is how I make it through tonight. I’m still right here, I’m still scared, But being lost does not mean nowhere. Someone finally heard the thunder in my head And held my hand when hope felt dead. I’m happy, I’m hurting, But I don’t have to hide it all. Maybe one heart can feel everything And still survive the fall. I’m reaching out from somewhere. I’m not disappearing now. I may not know where I’m going, But I know I’m still here somehow. I’m standing here, I’m breathing air. I’m still lost, but I’m still here. I’m done pretending. I’m done lying. Tonight, I’m trying.
