Verse 1 There’s a little sign in Gatlinburg That’s plain as it can be: “Private lot — no parking here.” But somebody thinks, “Not me.” They grab some fudge, they ride the tram, Take pictures everywhere, Come walking back three hours later— “Hey! I left my car right there!” Pre-Chorus They call the cops, they call their friends, They swear somebody stole it— Then somebody points up at the sign… “Well, I guess I didn’t notice.” Chorus That’s Everything Auto, Hook it up and roll. From downtown Gatlinburg To a ditch beside the road. If you’re broke down, they’ll come help you, If you’re stuck, they’ll pull you through. If you parked where you weren’t supposed to— Well, they’ll come get you too. From a midnight mountain rescue To a “Where’d my Honda go?” There’s never a dull day At Everything Auto. Verse 2 GPS said, “Turn right here,” So right is where they went. Never mind the road got narrower With every hundred feet. They passed a cabin, crossed a creek, Then somewhere past a goat, They finally stopped and looked around— “This ain’t the road to Dollywood.” Pre-Chorus Now one tire’s hanging off the edge, Dad’s trying not to cuss. Mom says, “I told you twenty minutes ago We should’ve taken the bus.” Chorus Call Everything Auto, Hook it up and roll. Up another mountain Where a Camry shouldn’t go. If you’re broke down, they’ll come help you, If you’re stuck, they’ll pull you through. And if Google says, “Keep going,” Maybe don’t believe it too. From a midnight mountain rescue To a “Where’d my Honda go?” There’s never a dull day At Everything Auto. Verse 3 Some folks walk in grateful, Some come through the door on fire: “I was only gone ten minutes!” “Sir, your meter says three hours.” “That sign was NOT there when I parked!” Jeff just points across the lot. There’s six of ’em in plain sight— Including one beside his spot. Pre-Chorus The camera keeps on rolling, Kristen’s heard it all before. And somewhere out in Gatlinburg The phone rings one time more. Bridge They’ve pulled ‘em out of ditches, Off mountains, mud and snow. They’ve rescued folks at midnight When there wasn’t anywhere else to go. So laugh about the parking— Lord knows they’ve heard some lines— But when you’re really in a bind, They’re the folks you want to find. Final Chorus Call Everything Auto, Hook it up and roll. From downtown Gatlinburg To the highest mountain road. If you’re broke down, they’ll come help you, If you’re stuck, they’ll pull you through. And if you park beneath a “NO PARKING” sign… They’ve got a truck for that one too. Yeah, the Smokies keep ‘em busy, And the stories never get old— There’s never a dull day At Everything Auto. Outro / Spoken Tag So welcome to Gatlinburg. Enjoy the mountains. Enjoy the food. Take lots of pictures… And for the love of Pete— READ. THE. SIGN. Truck door shuts. “Everything Auto… we got another one.”
